Shaken
by Julbie
Summary: An earthquake has interesting consequences for Spike and Buffy.
1. Default Chapter

Shaken - Part 1  
  
Setting: Buffy has been returned from the Great Beyond for a few months. Spike, who had been working with the scoobies and was just starting to get accepted, finds himself an outcast again when his chip suddenly stops working. (How or why the chip malfunctioned is not important for the purposes of this story)  
  
  
INT. SPIKE'S CRYPT - NIGHT  
  
Spike is slouched in his chair, staring at nothing, when he hears a faint knock at the door.   
  
Spike: (loudly) Oh, don't get all polite on me now, Slayer!  
  
A moment passes, then the door opens slowly and Buffy steps in, looking sad.  
  
Buffy: Spike.   
  
Spike: (without looking at her) So, I'm to be kicked out of Sunnydale then?   
  
Buffy: (softly) We all agreed that you've done a lot for us. And it's probably not fair to think you'd go right back to your old ways. But without the chip, the others... all but Dawn... they just don't feel safe.  
  
Spike sighs and puts his head down. He expected this, but it still hurts. Buffy looks away, not wanting to see his disappointment. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Spike stands and starts to walk toward her, slowly.  
  
Spike: So, all of a sudden I'm the boogey man again. What about you? Are you afraid of me, too?  
  
Buffy backs up unconsciously.  
  
Buffy: Of course not.  
  
Spike: Because you know I'd never hurt you or because you're the slayer?  
  
Buffy: (honestly) A little bit of both.   
  
Spike: (heavy sigh) I wish you would just bloody tell me what it's going to take to convince you.  
  
Buffy: There's nothing. I'm sorry, Spike, I really am. I do realize that you've changed a lot. I see that. But I don't know if... I'm not sure if that was you or the chip. And I can't stake my life and the lives of the people I love on a promise from someone who has, in the past, tried several times to kill us all. Don't you understand? It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that...  
  
Spike: ...you don't believe me.  
  
Buffy shrugs an apology.  
  
Spike: All right, then. Guess I can't really blame you.   
(his voice trembles) Goodbye, Slayer. It was fun while it lasted.  
  
Spike turns and starts to walk away. Buffy is caught off guard.  
  
Buffy: You... you're leaving right now? What about... your stuff?  
  
Spike: (turning back) Well, as you might have noticed from one of your many visits here, I'm not exactly burdened with "stuff." So, I travel light. Everything I need I put in the car before you got here. (off Buffy's look) What can I say, you're a predictable lot. Say goodbye to the Niblet for me.  
  
He moves to turn around again.  
  
Buffy: Wait!   
  
Spike: (hopeful) What?  
  
Buffy: I... I just want you to know that we took a vote and it was really close. So that means some people voted for you to stay.   
  
Spike: Did you?  
  
Buffy: (ashamed) No.  
  
Spike: Well, thanks for that. A little slice if Sunnyhell to take with me on the road.   
  
Buffy: No, wait. Just wait. (long beat) I didn't vote for you to stay because... if you stayed, and if you ended up hurting someone... I would have to stake you. You know that I would have to. But--  
  
Spike tries to interrupt.   
  
Buffy: But, after all that's happened, I don't know if... I'll be able to. And I really don't ever want to have to find out. So it's just better this way. Okay?  
  
Spike is floored. He can only nod in response. Understanding passes between them and Buffy nods back. Spike turns and walks out the door.  
  
When he is gone, Buffy looks around the crypt which seems even more empty than usual. She slumps sadly into Spike's chair and begins to cry softly.  
  
EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT - SEVEN MONTHS LATER  
  
The scooby gang is out patrolling with Buffy. They are out-numbered at least three to one. They're doing okay, getting in some lucky shots, but they're all getting very tired.  
  
Willow: It's times like this that I wish we had Spike back.   
  
Buffy gives Willow a look.  
  
Willow: Sorry. I just... you know.  
  
Buffy: I know, but you can't do that. We're doing fine without him. Ow!  
  
Buffy gets punched in the face by a skinny vampire. She retaliates.  
  
Xander: And even if he was here, he's not the chipped wonder anymore. He wouldn't be helping us dust his pals. He'd be helping his pals dust us.  
  
Willow: Except, we don't dust. But I see where you're going with this. He's probably already back playing for the other team as we speak. I mean, it's not like he has much of a choice, since we rode him out of town on a rail and all.  
  
Buffy dusts her vampire and looks over at Xander. They share a twinge of guilt.  
  
Xander: Hey, it was a preemptive move! If we hadn't sent him packing he'd be here right now, laughing at us as we got our collective asses kicked and waiting to move in for the kill.  
  
Buffy: (unconvincing) Right. Absolutely. Oof!  
  
Buffy is suddenly rammed by a large vampire and they both go careening into the wall of a crypt.   
  
Buffy: (struggling) See, like this, for instance! He would so think this was funny.  
  
The large vampire seems to be getting the best of Buffy until he suddenly turns to dust in front of her. She takes a moment to brush dust from her clothes and looks up, seeing Xander nearby, his head whipping around looking for more vampires.   
  
Buffy: Thanks, Xand.   
  
Xander: What?   
  
Behind him, Willow is just getting up from the ground, shaking out the vamp dust from her own clothes.  
  
Willow: Thanks, Xander. I was in trouble there. But, I guess that's it. Looks like the rest of them ran off.   
  
Buffy: That's... weird.  
  
Xander: But good. Very good, as they are not the only ones sucking tonight.   
  
Buffy: What are you talking about? You guys were great!   
  
Xander: We were?  
  
Buffy: Xander! You saved my butt like three times. And Will dusted like two whole vamps on her own!  
  
Willow: I did?  
  
Buffy laughs.  
  
Buffy: You guys really need to start keeping score. We'll make it like a little game. Whoever gets to fifty first gets a steak dinner.   
  
Willow: Can I have pancakes instead?  
  
Buffy: Pancakes it is. But how about a big yummy muffin to tide you over till then? The walnutty kind, from The Bronze.  
  
Xander: Are we Bronzing?  
  
Buffy: I think we deserve it for all our hard work tonight.  
  
Xander and Willow exchange a look and shrug.   
  
Willow: Xander once told me never to refuse free food, so I'm in.  
  
Xander: That's the best advice you'll ever get, missy. Save your life someday.   
  
Buffy: Or maybe not... 'cause... with the strangers and the candy.   
  
Xander: Oh, right. So maybe I'll add an amendment...  
  
As the three friends leave the graveyard talking, Spike steps around from behind a crypt with a stake in his hand. He's breathing heavily and has a cut on his forehead. He looks like he came through a hell of a fight. He watches Buffy and the others leave, then looks down at the stake. After a moment, he drops it and sadly walks away.   
  
INT. MAGIC BOX - THE NEXT DAY  
  
Buffy is training with Giles. Throughout the scene, Giles is wincing with every blow Buffy delivers. She is getting stronger and he is getting older.  
  
Buffy: So, they're doing pretty well. I think we should think about really training them. You know. Like me.  
  
Giles: Yes, I agree it's a good idea to train Xander and Willow, but you have to understand that they will never match your level of skill and agility.   
  
Buffy: Well, shucks.   
  
Giles: (exasperated) You know what I mean. They're not slayers, Buffy. Or vampires.   
  
They exchange a very subtle look.  
  
Giles: You can't expect an ordinary human being to be able to take the same kind of abuse you do. Or to become as strong as you are.   
  
Buffy: I know, but training can't hurt, right? And, I mean, humans can be trained to do amazing things. You're good. You can be all grasshopper and train them to run up walls and fight with ladders and stuff... like Jackie Chan. He's just a human, and he's all old and everything. Time.  
  
Buffy pauses to tie her shoe, giving Giles a much needed break.  
  
Giles: Who is Jackie Chan?   
  
Buffy rolls her eyes, stands and punches hard at one of Giles' padded hands. Giles yelps in pain.   
  
Buffy: Someone who doesn't yipe like a sissy when you hit him.  
  
Giles frowns at her and slowly pulls off his padding.  
  
Giles: Training is over. Please go away now.  
  
Buffy bows.  
  
Buffy: As you wish, Grasshopper.  
  
She giggles at the mildly annoyed look on his face, then bounds out of the room. Giles is about to leave as well, until he notices a cinderblock sitting on two saw horses in the corner of the room. It is meant for Buffy's training. Giles goes to it and strikes a pose like he's going to karate chop the block. After a moment, he drops that stance and reels his head back, keeping his eyes on the block. He takes a deep breath and then... lets it out again.   
  
Giles: Yes, the appropriate thing to do is to smash your face into a block of concrete.  
  
He turns and walks out of the room, chuckling softly and dabbing his sweaty forehead with a towel.   
  
Giles: Anyway, Xander is a much bigger sissy than I am.  
  
WILLOW AND TARA'S - SAME DAY  
  
Willow: I don't know. When we're just straight patrolling and no magic is involved, I feel like I'm less of a help and more of a... huge, heavy, burdening albatross around their necks. I mean, at least Xander has his Army training. All I do is get in a few good kicks to the shin and then someone else usually has to do the staking. Well, except for last night when I apparently dusted two vamps by accident without even knowing. It's so embarrassing.   
  
Tara puts a comforting hand on Willow's shoulder.   
  
Tara: Oh, sweetie. It's not true that you don't pull your weight. I've seen you. You're really in there, fighting the fight. Staking the stakes. Buffy wouldn't ask for your help if she didn't think you could do it. I almost couldn't believe it the first time I saw you fight. I was really impressed.   
  
Willow: Really?   
  
Tara: Yeah. It was pretty sexy.   
  
Willow: (devilish grin) Really?   
  
Tara: Yeah.   
  
Willow: (shrugs proudly) I'm tough.  
  
Tara: You are.  
  
Tara beams at Willow and Willow leans in. It looks like she's about to give Tara a soft kiss. Instead, she grabs Tara by the shoulders and pushes her roughly down on the bed.   
  
Tara: (pleased) Oooh! Willow.   
  
A newly confident Willow covers Tara's mouth with a deep, passionate kiss.   
  
THE BRONZE - THAT NIGHT  
  
Buffy is unwinding after her training session. Just as she's about to walk toward the dance floor, she notices Spike, moping at the bar. Her eyes bug out. She is astonished! For a tiny moment she actually seems glad to see him. But then a scowl replaces her fraction of a smile and she moves up behind him, waiting for him to turn around.   
  
When he does, his facial expression changes three times in an instant. First, he's elated to see her, then he's worried what she'll do to him, then, he puts on his usual mask of cockiness.   
  
Spike: What?   
  
Buffy: I can not BELIEVE YOU! What do you think you're doing here?!  
  
Spike: Having a bloody pint. What's it look like, Slayer?  
  
Buffy: I am not playing with you, Spike.   
  
Spike can't hide a small grin. Even with her scowling at him, he realizes how much he'd missed her. Buffy doesn't seem to notice.  
  
Buffy: You promised never to come back to Sunnydale and here you are. So, since you're back to breaking promises, I guess I can assume you've taken up the rest of your old habits, too.  
  
Spike's grin fades.  
  
Spike: Look, I'm not up to "no good," Sheriff. So if you could just holster your attitude for five seconds, I'll explain.   
  
Buffy: (folding her arms) Please do.  
  
Spike: Aren't you gonna sit down?  
  
Buffy: No.  
  
Spike sighs.  
  
Spike: Nothing changes, I see. Okay, I'll just get to the point... something's up. I don't know exactly what, but I've heard things. Bad things. Something very nasty is on it's way. There are demons... I'm talking big, fear-no-evil-'cause-I'm-the-biggest-evil-out-there type demons... even they are scared of whatever this is. And it's coming here. To Sunnydale.  
  
Buffy: Naturally.   
  
Spike: So, I just thought you could use a hand when whatever it is gets here, and why are you looking at me like you don't believe me?  
  
Buffy: Could be because I don't believe you.  
  
Spike has no response to that.  
  
Buffy: Is there any reason why I should? You're back in town after promising to never--  
  
Spike: (talking over her) I never promised anything. I never said the word "promise!"  
  
Buffy: --come back here. And now you're telling me you've got friends in low places who are scared of some big, conveniently non-specific nasty and I'm supposed to go, "Welcome back, Spike. Thanks for the info. Let me turn my back on you now so you can sink your fangs into me and then go kill all my friends."  
  
Spike: Is that really what you think?  
  
The wounded look on Spike's face softens Buffy a little.  
  
Buffy: Well, what exactly did you expect me to think?  
  
Spike: Look. I know the fact that I broke the deal and showed up here doesn't paint me in an altogether trustworthy light. And I realize the story I've brought with me is a bit hard to swallow. I knew I'd have a hard time convincing you or even getting you to listen. But I still had to come, because you're gonna need my help.  
  
Buffy: (lying) Well, you wasted your time, because, to tell you the truth, Spike, we've been doing just fine without you.  
  
Spike: Right. Yeah. I saw that last night when you could barely keep the witch and the whelp from getting chewed on.  
  
Buffy: They did perfectly fine without my help. We were a little outnumbered at first, so I was... wait...  
  
Spike looks caught.  
  
Buffy: You were there?   
  
Spike: (stammering) I... was out walking... and I saw you... and there were a lot of vampires so I... I didn't get in the way! And I saved your bloody life, so just stop looking at me already.  
  
Buffy: You dusted that big vamp on top of me by the crypt wall. That's why Xander looked so confused. How did you...  
  
Spike: (shyly) Had a lot of time on my hands lately. Been working on my speed. Trying out some cool vampire tricks I haven't used in a while.  
  
Buffy: (suspicious) So you were testing them out on us? That's why you were sneaking around?   
  
Spike: Sneaking around? You're bloody mad! I helped you, Slayer. Without being invited to the Bronze afterward for my hard work. Without being promised a bloody walnut muffin. And without that sodding chip that you're all so sure is responsible for every decent thing I've ever done. God Dammit! Why the hell did I come back here?!  
  
Buffy: I don't know, Spike. Why did you, really?  
  
Spike: Because I'm a daft git, that's why. I thought after all these months, you might have softened just a little bit. Might have realized that you don't have to keep shoving me away all the time. But you're head is as thick as ever and I just remembered I don't have to deal with it anymore. So, I'm leaving...   
  
Buffy: Good.  
  
Spike: ...forever this time.   
  
Buffy: Great.  
  
Spike: Good luck with the big nasty, Slayer. At least try not to die again!  
  
Buffy: Yeah, well why don't you try remembering that when you say you're leaving "forever" it means like... a really loooonng time... longer than like... seven months, even.  
  
Spike turns to face her, staggered by her harshness.  
  
Spike: You unbelievable Bi--  
  
Spike's venomous insult is cut off by no less than an earthquake. All around them, the Bronze is a-shakin'. Glass smashes, chairs topple over, people scream, and in the middle of it are Buffy and Spike. He instinctively runs to her to protect her from falling and she does not reject his help. The earthquake dies out after a minute or so, leaving everyone... em... shaken. Spike and Buffy both know what the earthquake could mean - the big nasty may have just arrived. They lock eyes, but do not let go of each other. There is the briefest flash of heat between them and then:  
  
Spike: See? What did I tell you?   
  
Buffy: Don't even start.  
  
She pushes Spike off of her and starts to leave the Bronze. Spike follows close behind.  
  
Spike: I just hope you're satisfied now.  
  
Buffy: I'm not listening to you!  
  
They exit, leaving a few dazed Bronzians curious about their strange reaction to the quake.  
  
End of Part One 


	2. Shaken 2

MAGIC SHOP  
  
Buffy and Spike are stand in front of Giles. They are in mid-conversation. Giles eyes Spike, warily.  
  
Giles: No, just a regular earthquake. Knocked a few things off the shelves, but luckily Anya forced me to get insurance.  
  
Buffy: So, no world endage is afoot? Seriously?  
  
Giles: No, Buffy, it is actually the end of the world. I'm just having you on a bit. Clever you.  
  
Spike: (laughs) What's your problem?  
  
Giles: My problem, Spike, is... Buffy, what is he doing here?   
  
Buffy looks at Spike and sighs.   
  
Buffy: (sarcastic) He's on a mission from God.  
  
Spike: Oh, shut up. (to Giles) I'm here because--  
  
Buffy: He claims he's here to help us with some big hoogedy boogedy that's on it's way.   
  
Spike: Can I speak for myself, please?  
  
Giles: (to Spike) You've been privy to information? Stirrings in the underworld?   
  
Buffy: Allegedly.  
  
Spike: Ooh, "allegedly." That's an awfully big word for such a tiny person.  
  
Buffy: Hey. You're standing here because I'm allowing it to happen, so I think you might want to back it off a little.   
  
Spike: Or you'll stake me, right? That threat's got cobwebs, Slayer.  
  
Buffy moves menacingly toward Spike.  
  
Buffy: Yeah, well the best way to take care of cobwebs is to do little dusting.  
  
Spike laughs in her face.   
  
Spike: Ooh, I see you've spiced up your material. It's real good. I'm frightened for my life, yet intrigued by your wit.  
  
That was a burn. Buffy whips out the pointy stick.  
  
Buffy: You're gonna be intrigued by my stake in about three seconds.   
  
There's a pause while Spike considers whether or not to keep pushing Buffy's buttons. Then:  
  
Spike: Thug.  
  
Buffy pulls back on the stake and Spike defiantly puffs out his chest.   
  
Giles rolls his eyes.  
  
Giles: Fabulous. I've missed this.  
  
Buffy turns to Giles, embarrassed. She lowers her weapon.  
  
Buffy: Sorry.  
  
Spike: You should be.   
  
Buffy: (glaring) I was talking to Giles!  
  
Spike: Look, can we get back to the point here?   
  
Giles: Which is?  
  
Spike: Which is I don't know what you've been reading in those old books of yours, but something bad is definitely going down. (to Buffy) And I'm coming to the rescue whether YOU like it or not!  
  
Giles: (removing his glasses) Yes, but why?  
  
Spike is derailed.  
  
Spike: Because... it might be the end of the world and... you know my policy on that. I don't... want it to.   
  
Giles searches Spike's face for a few moments, then turns to Buffy.  
  
Giles: Buffy. Would you mind getting me the Book of Anoush from the shelves at the top of the stairs?  
  
Buffy: Anoush. Check.  
  
Buffy's no fool. She knows Giles wants a word in private with Spike. She eyes Spike sympathetically before walking away. As soon as she's out of ear shot:   
  
Giles: You're still in love with her.  
  
Spike: (nervous) I... I didn't come back for--  
  
Giles: Listen to me very carefully. I will look into this catastrophe of yours. If I find nothing I want you gone, do you understand? A decision was made, no matter how hard it was to come to. If you really do care about her, you'll put aside your feelings and do what is right for both of you. And so help me, Spike, if this is some trick to make us trust you again, Buffy won't have to worry about staking you, because I'll do it myself.   
  
Spike nods and says nothing, like a child in trouble with his father.  
  
Buffy: This the one?  
  
Buffy walks up hands Giles a book. Her eyes dart back and forth between the two men. She's dying to know what was said.   
  
Giles: Yes, thank you. I'll try and cross reference today's astrological date with the Book of Prophets, see if there's more to this earthquake than I had originally thought.  
  
Buffy: If so, the apocalypses are running closer and closer together. Pretty soon it's just gonna be one big old marathon of chaos.  
  
STREET OUTSIDE MAGIC BOX  
  
Xander: Chaos!  
  
Xander, Willow, Anya and Tara are walking down the street on their way into the shop. Xander is in the middle of a story that the others are listening intently to.  
  
Xander: I mean, the quake hits and suddenly it's every man for himself. So much for all those safety videos they made us sit through. But, anyway, the forklift had the guy pinned and I was the only one standing there when it happened. So without even thinking I just went over and dug my feet in and--  
  
Anya: (excitedly) It lifted right up! Like it didn't weigh a thing!  
  
Xander turns to Anya, and pouts.  
  
Xander: Anya! My Story.  
  
Anya: Sorry. It's just so exciting.   
  
Xander: Well, yeah! I mean, it was like I had super-human strength or something.  
  
Tara: I've read about that happening. It's adrenaline.  
  
Willow: Yeah. In crisis situations, humans can exhibit strength ten times what they're normally capable of. You were probably running on pure adrenaline.  
  
Xander: Whatever - the point is, they think I'm a super-hero now. It's awesome. I already have this mysterious alter ego that fights vampires and demons at night. I am so totally Clark Kent.  
  
The four friends ENTER THE MAGIC BOX.  
  
Anya: You're not gonna start wearing those stupid glasses are you?  
  
Xander is about to answer when he notices Spike standing in the middle of the shop. Everyone stops.  
  
Willow: (confused) Oh. Spike's here. Everything... okay?  
  
Xander walks right up to Spike, cautious but angry.  
  
Xander: Oh, man, you got a lotta nerve. What the hell do you think you're doing here?  
  
Spike: I couldn't stay away. I've missed you so much, Xander. Please stop denying our love.   
  
Xander looks ready to kill.  
  
Buffy: (to Spike) Why do you always have to do that?  
  
Anya: Yes, that's not even a funny joke. What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you'd be long gone by now, celebrating your... vampireness.  
  
Giles: Spike seems to think this recent earthquake is a precursor to some terrible event.  
  
Willow: Something hellmouth-y?  
  
Spike: Yeah. And your team needs another ringer, so here I am.   
  
Xander: Oh, give me a break. Nice try, Evil Dead. Now, hit the road.  
  
Tara: Well... wait. I mean... are we really in danger?  
  
Willow: Yeah, Xander. Spike could be telling the truth. Buffy? What do you think?  
  
Buffy looks around nervously at all the expectant faces. She's not sure what to say.  
  
Anya: Well, I hope he's not. (to Spike) Because if you are telling the truth, that's just pathetic. In all my years as a vengeance demon, I've never seen someone so sick with love he'd deny his natural tendencies and keep trying to help a bunch of people who don't even want him around.  
  
Everyone but Xander winces at this very blunt comment. Spike is stung, so he fights back.  
  
Spike: (to Anya) I can't believe you of all people can act so bloody superior. Do you really think these people would let you stick around if you ever got your mojo back?   
  
Anya looks a little unsure. Some of the others look away uncomfortably. Spike does have a point.  
  
Spike: Maybe Xander would fight it at first... because, as the official bouncer of the scooby gang, he gets to decide who stays and who goes, right? And hey, with his track record, he might get off on making it with a vengeance demon for a while...   
  
Xander: Hey!  
  
Spike: (continuing to Anya) But then again you probably wouldn't want to stay. I remember all the whining you did about getting your powers back. Everyone thinks I'm the turncoat, but I think it's you who'd be the one to eviscerate the lot of them first chance you--  
  
Xander: All right, that's enough!   
  
Xander steps in front of Anya and pushes Spike away from her. To everyone's surprise, Spike goes flying across the room. He hits a wall and then falls to the floor, coughing.   
  
Everyone stands in stunned silence looking from Spike to Xander and back again. Finally:  
  
Xander: Whoa! Did you guys see that?  
  
MOMENTS LATER  
  
Giles is pouring over his books. He looks up at Xander.  
  
Giles: So, when you lifted the forklift, you say it was light as a feather?  
  
Xander: (smiling) Just like Spike.  
  
Spike huffs and walks away, holding his back and limping.  
  
Tara: So maybe that adrenaline thing never wore off?  
  
Giles: That doesn't seem likely. But there's got to be some explanation for it. Did you exhibit any kind of super-human strength before the earthquake hit?  
  
Xander: No. I mean, I don't know. I don't think I had it on patrol last night. I did okay, but I certainly didn't feel super!  
  
Buffy and Spike exchange a look.  
  
Giles: (thinking) Come with me a minute.  
  
Giles leads Xander into Buffy's training room. Everyone follows as though they were invited. Giles leads Xander over to the cinderblock positioned over two saw horses in the corner of the room. Xander realizes what he's being asked to do.   
  
Xander: Wait a minute... this is... I don't think so, Giles.  
  
Buffy: Giles, he'll break his hand.  
  
Giles: Well, then we'll have a little more insight into this matter wont we!  
  
Xander: Hey! You're talking about my hand here! My fragile, very breakable hand. I need my hands.  
  
Anya: He really does. Like... really.  
  
Everyone tries to pretend that wasn't about sex.  
  
Spike: You heard the poofter. He's too tender and fragile. Why don't you start off with something easier for him to break. Like a biscuit.  
  
That did it. Xander smashes his hand into the block, shattering it to smithereens.   
  
The gang is even more astonished than before. Giles looks a little concerned. After a few moments, everyone starts talking at once, excitement buzzing around Xander who is loving the attention.  
  
Tara: Wow. That was amazing!  
  
Willow: (to Xander) Your hand is okay? (then) It's not broken? Giles, how did this happen?  
  
Anya: I changed my mind. You can wear the stupid glasses as long as we can get you one of those tight little suits. You know, for night time.  
  
Buffy: I don't know what this is, but it's great. We can team up. Major vamp dusting action!  
  
Giles: Hang on, hang on, lets everybody just calm down a minute. We don't have any idea what's causing this or how long it will last. Xander, you don't know your own strength. Literally. You could wind up hurting someone-- or yourself. I think it would be a good idea for you to lie low for a while until we can figure out what's happening to you.  
  
Xander: No offense, Giles, but hell no. I've been the regular joe of this group for too long. Now I have all this power and you want me to lie down?  
  
Giles: I said lie low, and I--  
  
Xander: I'm ready to patrol! Let's slay some vamps! Maybe Anya's right. I should get some kind of suit or something... like a disguise...  
  
Anya: A tight disguise.  
  
Xander: And maybe a sword.  
  
Buffy: I want a sword!  
  
Xander: No sword for you. You're a girl.   
  
Buffy slaps Xander in the back of his head.  
  
Buffy: OW!!  
  
Everyone looks at her.  
  
Buffy: What? His head is like a rock! I broke a nail. I never break a nail.  
  
Xander raises his fists in the air.  
  
Xander: I HAVE THE POWER!  
  
Anya: Okay, Xander, enough.   
  
Xander immediately calms down.  
  
Giles: Thank you, Anya. Now, like it or not, I'm going to have to look into this. It seems too much of a coincidence that this happened to you just after the earthquake hit, so I'm inclined to think the two are connected.  
  
Spike: Really? How interesting. Because that would mean that - say it with me now - Spike was right.  
  
Giles: Spike, if you're going to help, please do it quietly.  
  
Giles throws him a book. Spike is barely able to hold on to it, because it knocks him back three feet.   
  
Spike: OW!! Bleeding Christ, what the hell is the matter with you people?! You all have an extra bowl of Wheaties this morning or what?   
  
Giles pales. Buffy looks at him with fear in her eyes.  
  
Buffy: Giles, what's going on?   
  
ONE HOUR LATER  
  
Xander: So you're saying the Hellmouth has... an overbite?  
  
Giles: Well, that's a good way of putting it. It's prophesied, here. (gestures to an open book) I just didn't... well you'd have to be looking for it to find it. It's terribly vague.   
  
Willow: But who's affected?  
  
Giles: Everyone.  
  
Buffy: But what about me. If this thing gives super - strength to all the regular humans, than what does it give me? Super-super strength?   
  
Giles: I'm afraid not Buffy. I think the reason all of Spike's demon friends were so afraid is that everyone or thing that had any kind of power is now powerless. That includes you.  
  
Buffy: Well, how can you tell?! I mean, give me a test like you gave Xander. I'll smash whatever you want.  
  
Giles: (gently) Buffy.  
  
Their eyes meet. It's clear that Buffy is frightened.  
  
Giles: You can feel it can't you?  
  
Buffy looks down and nods.  
  
Spike, who has been silent for quite a while, finally pipes up in a high-pitched voice.  
  
Spike: Well how to we fix it? You must know how to fix it, right? We can't go around like this forever!   
  
They look at Spike as though they'd forgotten he was there.   
  
Xander: Ohhhh yeah. This is must be your worst nightmare huh? Especially with just getting your bite back and everything. I mean... even Tara could kick your ass now.  
  
Spike tries to ignore Xander.   
  
Spike: Giles, can I talk to you for a minute please?   
  
Giles seems irritated.  
  
Giles: What is it?  
  
Spike: No, I mean... alone. Please?  
  
Giles sighs like a put upon man and moves away from the group. The gang watches curiously. Looking skittish, Spike goes over to Giles and whispers:  
  
Spike: Giles, I have to go to the bathroom.  
  
Giles recoils in disgust. A few others who heard the comment giggle to themselves. Buffy stays curious.  
  
Giles: And you're sharing this with me because--?  
  
Spike: You don't understand. I haven't had to go to the bathroom for over a hundred years.   
  
There is a long pause while this sinks in and then:  
  
Giles: Oh.  
  
End of Part Two 


	3. Shaken Three

BUFFY'S HOUSE - TWO DAYS LATER   
  
Buffy is sitting on the couch, reading a magazine rather aggressively. She turns each page with a quick, loud snap while her leg bounces anxiously up and down. She seems to be annoyed by the only other sound in the room, which is Spike's heavy, labored breathing. When she looks up at him, we see that Spike isn't doing anything more strenuous than sitting in a chair.   
  
Buffy: You're concentrating too hard again. Stop thinking about your breathing and just do it.   
  
Spike: I can't. It's strange. I hate it. Stupid earthquake.   
  
Buffy: Do you think you might take a break from the whining at some point today?   
  
Spike: I don't know. Maybe I'll give it a try after my fifteenth trip to the bloody bathroom!  
  
Buffy: Here we go.  
  
Spike: Do you know how awful it feels to be human?   
  
Buffy: Uh...  
  
Spike: It's horrid! It's torturous!  
  
Buffy: Oh my GOD, will you just get used to it already! It's been two days and it doesn't look like there's any end in sight. So, do us both a favor and just EMBRACE the humanity.  
  
Spike: Oh, you mean follow the great example you're setting? Because I can see that you're just sailing through this with flying colors.  
  
Buffy: Hey, it's not the same for me. I'm sitting here like a lump when the rest of the gang is off fighting demons... or crazed super-humans... or whatever... the bad guys! It's not fair. I used to take them patrolling with me. I don't see why I can't go along with them.  
  
Spike: Oh, boo hoo. Little Miss Everything feels inadequate. That's a real shame, Slayer, but it hardly compares to the fact that my entire bloody world has just turned upside-down! (Spike puts a hand to his throat as if to check it) I'm going to die.   
  
Buffy: Uch, will you stop being such a drama queen?   
  
Spike: No, I mean, I'm really gonna die.   
  
For the first time since she's known him, Buffy sees real fear on Spike's face. She swallows her insult.  
  
Buffy: Well... yeah, we're all gonna die, Spike. But not for a long time, we hope.  
  
Spike: That's just it. We hope. But that's all we can do. We have no control. It could happen at any time. Without warning or preamble. I could die in the next few hours, you don't know. I could have a brain aneurysm or get some kind of hideous disease that drags out over a number of months. Human bodies are disgusting. And they deteriorate!  
  
Buffy: Spike, you're not going to have an aneurysm. You're young, healthy and in perfect shape. All you have to do is give up smoking, and...   
  
Spike: Give up smoking? You must be daft! That's the only thing I have left.   
  
Buffy: Of what? Your cool, bad boy image? Please, you are so beyond that now.   
  
Suddenly, fear is replaced with curiosity.  
  
Spike: Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean?  
  
Buffy: (whoops) I don't know. You're just... you seem different now.  
  
Spike: I don't understand you. Not seventy-two hours ago you accused me of being back in town with some sinister plan to stamp out you and yours. Now suddenly I'm not so evil anymore? When did that happen?  
  
There is a pause while Spike studies Buffy's face. Buffy does not meet his eyes. Spike gets it.  
  
Spike: You're racist.   
  
Buffy: WHAT?   
  
Spike: I'm not different. What your saying is that I'm human now. This is so typical. I was exactly the same as a vampire, but now that I'm human it's okay for you to love me.  
  
Buffy: Excuse me? Did we skip a chapter? Who's talking about love?  
  
Spike: Oh, knock it off, Slayer. No one's around to be impressed. You know and I know what... we know.   
  
Buffy: (shaky) I have no idea what you're talking about. I think all the breathing is making you light headed.   
  
Spike watches her for a minute and Buffy can't handle the pressure. Her eyes drop to the floor. Spike smiles as he slips out of his chair and crawls over to her. He kneels on the floor next to her, runs his hand over her knees and rests it on her hip. She jumps slightly, but makes no attempt to move away. Slowly, he rises on his knees, bringing his face so close to hers that they can feel each other's breath. But Buffy is now the one breathing heavily. When their lips are a centimeter apart, Spike says:   
  
Spike: See, I told you. You would never let me kiss you if I were still a vampire.   
  
Buffy blinks a few times, in shock, then comes the fury and she pushes Spike away as hard as she can without her Slayer strength.   
  
Buffy: UGH!   
  
Spike sits back on his legs, giggling.  
  
Buffy: (hurt) I was not going to let you kiss me! I was waiting for you to get close enough so I could punch you. But then I remembered I was all ordinary now and I would probably hurt my hand and your not even worth the effort anyway.  
  
Buffy is flushed and babbling. The fact that Spike is now watching her with open desire is not helping her think any more clearly.  
  
Buffy: And I was so wrong. Being human certainly has not cured you of being a complete jerk-off. Stop looking at me like that!  
  
Spike has something to say. As he opens his mouth to speak, they hear a noise and turn to see Dawn bounding down the stairs, carrying a knapsack and pulling on her coat.   
  
Dawn: Going over to Anya's to stay for a few.  
  
Buffy is a little dazed, as if she forgot Dawn was even in the house. She shifts her eyes nervously to Spike and back.  
  
Buffy: What? Why?  
  
Dawn: Look, I love you both. But being cooped up in a house with the two of you while you work out this thing between you... it's a little too much for my fifteen year-old brain to deal with. I'm the one that's supposed to be full of insecurities and behaving immaturely, but you two are throwing me off my game. So, I have to get out of here for a while. You guys should be alone anyway. For when the dam breaks.  
  
Buffy: (shocked) DAWN!!  
  
Spike clears his throat and pretends he hasn't heard the last part.   
  
Spike: Who's taking you to Anya's? You know it's not safe.   
  
Dawn: Xander's gonna take me. He thinks I'll be good company for Anya. We can commiserate over the fact that we both got jipped on getting powers 'cause of that minor technicality that we're both slightly other than human.  
  
Buffy: Dawn, you don't have to leave. Spike can go.   
  
She turns to Spike.  
  
Buffy: Get out!  
  
Spike looks amused.  
  
Dawn: Where's he supposed to go, Buffy? He can't live in his crypt.   
  
Buffy: I don't care. What am I, his mother?  
  
Spike: (mock earnestness) Mommy?  
  
Dawn: (to Spike) Stop it. You're making it worse.   
  
Spike: She's the one--  
  
Buffy: No he--  
  
Dawn: Hey, SHUT UP! Both of you! Jeez, you guys are incredible!   
  
A car horn sounds from outside.  
  
Dawn: That's Xander. Listen, I don't know what to tell you guys, just... try to be honest with each other.   
  
And Dawn is gone.  
  
And there is silence in the room for what seems like hours. It's the kind of silence that speaks volumes and neither Buffy nor Spike are ready to listen to what it's saying.  
  
Finally, Buffy breaks the silence and changes the subject in one fell swoop.  
  
Buffy: I'm gonna make dinner.  
  
Spike: I'm not hungry.   
  
Buffy: You'll be hungry when I'm finished making it.  
  
She gets up and goes to the kitchen. Spike follows her.  
  
Spike: Can't we order a pizza?  
  
Buffy: I can make a pizza.  
  
Spike: I don't want some old house pizza. I want a real pizza, that comes in a big, greasy, cardboard box.  
  
Buffy: You know half the city is shut down anyway and why would we order something when I'm perfectly capable of making it on my own?  
  
Spike: Because it's gonna take you forever to make it.  
  
Buffy: I thought you weren't hungry.  
  
Spike: Well now that we're talking about pizza I'm hungry for one.  
  
Buffy: Then I'm making one.   
  
Buffy starts pulling stuff off of shelves and getting ready for cooking.  
  
Spike: Why do you have to be so bloody stubborn? This is totally unnecessary!   
  
Buffy: No it's not! We need to eat! I can make food. That's what I can do and I'm doing it!   
  
Spike: You just have to be in charge of something, don't you? Fine... you can be the grand high poobah of dinner and I'll just wait here and starve until you've made you're little point.   
  
Buffy is trying to open a jar of sauce and having a hard time of it.  
  
Buffy: You said... (grunt)...you weren't even... (grunt) hungry.  
  
Spike: Well I changed my mind!  
  
Distracted by her actions, Spike grabs the jar from Buffy and twists it open easily so that the lid makes a popping sound. When he moves to hand it back to her, Buffy's eyes go wide and she takes a step back, pointing at the jar.  
  
Buffy: Oh, no! What the hell is that supposed to be?  
  
Spike: (completely confused) Huh?   
  
Buffy: Who do you think you are, opening jars for me? You don't open jars for me! Who are you, some big tough guy now? Opening jars for the poor little lady in the kitchen who can't... open her own jars!   
  
Spike: Buffy, calm down, it's just...  
  
Buffy: Don't you dare tell me to calm down! I do not need your help!   
  
Spike: (worried) Okay.  
  
Buffy: I don't! I can do everything for myself. And I could even patrol with those guys if they would just let me. Maybe I don't have the strength, but I still have the moves! And I wouldn't forget my limitations and get hurt like Giles said because I am perfectly WELL AWARE of my limitations. And I know I could've opened that jar in a minute if you hadn't taken it from me just to show off.   
  
Spike: I--   
  
BuffY: You're not stronger than me, so just don't even get any ideas about that.  
  
There is a brief pause while Spike takes this in.  
  
Spike: You're really losing it aren't you?  
  
Buffy slams her hand down on the counter.   
  
Buffy: I AM NOT LOSING IT!!!  
  
Buffy whimpers and draws her hand back to cradle it. She hit it too hard. She turns away from Spike and begins to cry softly. For a moment Spike stands there, unsure of what to do. When he hears her crying, he tentatively moves to help her.  
  
Spike: Hey... Slayer?  
  
Buffy spins and whacks him in the chest.  
  
Buffy: Stop calling me that! That's not who I am.  
  
Spike turns Buffy to face him and holds her by the arms. She does not try to pull away.   
  
Spike: It's who you are to me.  
  
Buffy: Well, you've always been pretty stupid. It may take a while, but sooner or later you'll realize that I'm nobody special anymore.  
  
Spike: (smiling) I never said you were anyone special. I just said you were the Slayer.   
  
Buffy almost laughs.  
  
Buffy: (half-hearted) I hate you.  
  
Spike: No you don't.  
  
Buffy pouts and stomps like a child having a tantrum.  
  
Buffy: But, how do you know that?   
  
Spike: Because I know you better than anyone.  
  
Spike pulls Buffy closer to him. She pretends not to notice and looks at his shoulder, rather than his face.  
  
Buffy: That's not true.  
  
Spike: Who knows you better than I do?   
  
Buffy: Willow, Xander, Giles, Angel, the mailman, my third grade science teacher--  
  
Spike: They know what you let them know. But I know the things you won't even admit to yourself.  
  
Buffy gets up the courage to look into Spike's eyes and actually manages to appear cocky.  
  
Buffy: Well, if you're so big with the mind-reading, then tell me what I'm thinking right now.  
  
Spike holds her gaze for a moment, studying her. Buffy almost looks away from the intensity of it, but before she can, Spike presses his mouth over hers. She does not even try to resist him. The second their lips touch, she simply sags against his firm body and gives herself up to the feeling of his kiss. It is like nothing she has ever felt before in her life. Strong, pure, erotic and full of a love she didn't believe existed.  
  
After a little while, Spike pulls away, still holding Buffy as her eyes flutter open to meet his. The first thing she notices is that Spike seems to have lost a little of his trademark confidence. He looks shaken, and is obviously nervous about what she's going to say to him. The humming in her ears and the tingling all over her body make it difficult for her to say anything, but she manages.  
  
Buffy: Okay, so you know me. Let's order a pizza.  
  
At first, Spike is thrown. He didn't know what to expect, but it certainly wasn't that. Then he sees that she is smiling at him, and her eyes are shining. It is the first time since before he can remember that he has ever felt actual hope.   
  
Spike: I'm not hungry.  
  
Buffy: Yeah, me neither.  
  
They both stand there grinning at each other for a few seconds, before bursting out laughing. The pent up tension that has been building between them since the day they met is draining away, and in it's place is giddy relief. Spike pulls Buffy to him and throws his arms around her, rocking her back and forth. Buffy squeezes back and buries her face in his neck. Spike closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling of her in his arms. It is quite possible that this is the happiest either of them has ever been.  
  
BOOM!!  
  
There is a crash in the living room.  
  
Giles: Tara! For God's sake!  
  
Willow: Giles, don't yell at her, she didn't mean to.  
  
When they hear the voices, Buffy and Spike instinctively jump away from each other and then take a minute to notice that they both had the same idea. It almost makes them start laughing again. They hide their smiles and go to investigate.  
  
As they enter the living room, Tara is just putting the front door back on it's hinges.   
  
Willow: (embarrassed) Sorry... she only meant to knock. She's having a little trouble with the whole super-strength aspect.  
  
Tara: I'm such a spaz. I'm so sorry, Buffy.  
  
Buffy: No, don't worry about it. I'll fix it. Um...  
  
She tries a little too hard to not notice Spike standing next to her.  
  
Buffy: What's going on? What are you guys doing here?  
  
Willow: Sustenance.   
  
Giles: Yes, we were wondering if you'd be interested in... em... hosting dinner tonight. I'd like to hold a meeting to keep us all up to speed on what's happening, so we should get Xander and Anya over here as well.   
  
Spike's smile fades.   
  
Buffy: (disappointed) Sure. Absolutely. Not like I had any big plans or anything. Spike and I have just been bored out of our minds. If we had our powers back we'd probably have killed each other by now just for fun, right Spike?  
  
She makes big eyes at Spike, urging him to play along.  
He pauses to make her suffer and then:  
  
Spike: Yeah.   
  
Buffy looks at him angrily.   
  
Spike: So do you have any tools, Slayer? I can fix that door if you want. I've been known to tighten a hinge in my day.   
  
As he walks past Buffy to go see about the door, he whispers to her:  
  
Spike: Less is more.  
  
Willow: Buffy, are you sure it's okay we're here? Giles thought you'd like to be included.   
  
Willow gets a look from Tara.  
  
Willow: I mean, not that you're not still a part of the team or anything, I... have to stop talking now.  
  
Buffy realizes that she is not bothered by what Willow is saying. She's too interested in watching how calm and collected Spike is being. How handsome he is and how much she enjoys the fact that they're sharing a secret. She smiles softly at Willow.  
  
Buffy: Will. It's okay. What do you feel like eating?  
  
Willow: Anything, I'm famished.  
  
Spike: (standing by the door) Pizza?  
  
Willow: Mmmm, perfect!  
  
Buffy has to look away to fight the laughter. Giles notices this.   
  
Giles: Where's Dawn?  
  
Buffy: Xander's place. She... she uh...  
  
Spike: ...needed a change of scenery. And Anya was lonely.  
  
Giles: So, you two have been... alone all day?   
  
Buffy: Not all day.  
  
Giles: For how long?  
  
Spike: Giles? What ARE you suggesting?  
  
Buffy: Whatever it is... eew!  
  
Spike: (to Buffy) Hey! I have feelings you know!  
  
Buffy: Yeah, I care.  
  
Giles breathes a sigh of relief. It appears nothing has changed.  
  
Giles: I only ask because I'd like Dawn to be a part of this meeting as well. Tara, can you make the call and get them over here?  
  
Tara: Sure.  
  
Willow: I'm gonna go raid the fridge for appetizers.  
  
Tara goes to the phone, Giles and Willow head for the kitchen. Buffy turns to Spike.  
  
Buffy: If you're really gonna fix that door, the tools are in the closet. Dinner will be ready in half an hour so you'd better hurry up. I'm not keeping it warm.   
  
Spike: I'm doing this as a favor to you, you ungrateful bint!  
  
Buffy: So what do you want? To be knighted? Fix it, don't fix it, I don't give a rat's.  
  
Buffy has to cover her mouth to hide her laughter.  
  
Spike: Irritating bloody woman!  
  
Spike winks at her and it's all Buffy can do not to run to him and pull him into another kiss. She sighs longingly instead, and kisses the air in his direction. Spike falls back against the door, holding his chest in an exaggerated gesture. This delights Buffy and she bounces up and down, laughing silently.   
  
Willow: (from the kitchen) Buffy?  
  
Tara, who is talking to Anya on the phone, turns around to see Buffy and Spike smiling happily at each other before Buffy waves good-bye and heads into kitchen. When Buffy is gone Spike watches the place where she was, grinning and lost in thought. After a minute, he sighs, runs a hand through his hair, then turns and gets to work on the door.  
  
Anya: (through the phone) Tara? Are you still there?  
  
Tara jumps and quickly turns around, knowing that she just witnessed something she wasn't supposed to.  
  
Tara: (quietly) Uh... yeah.  
  
End of Part Three 


	4. Shaken Four

LATER THAT SAME NIGHT  
  
Buffy, Willow and Giles are in Buffy's kitchen preparing dinner. Tara sits on the sofa in the living room, reading the same magazine that Buffy was flipping through earlier, and Spike is putting the tools he used to fix the front door back in the tool box. As he stands to put the box in the closet, he notices Tara watching him from over her magazine.  
  
Spike: So... how's it going?   
  
Tara: (caught, looking away) Nothing. I mean... f-fine. I was just... I feel like such a dork about the door.   
  
Spike puts the box in the closet.  
  
Spike: Nonsense. It was an easy fix. Not really your fault, anyway. It's just a crazy situation all 'round.   
  
Awkward Silence.  
  
Tara: H-how are you guys dealing? You and Buffy I mean.  
  
Spike: (scratching his head, searching) Oh... uh... well, who knows what the Slayer thinks half the time, you know she's pretty closed down about stuff. Especially to me. So you'll have to ask her about it. But me, I'm okay. Being human is... kind of growing on me, I think.   
  
Tara studies Spike's face openly which makes him a little uncomfortable.  
  
Spike: Tara... we've never really talked, but -- in light of the fact that you're now probably capable of pounding me into a bloody pulp -- I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for punching you in the face that time.  
  
Tara laughs sweetly and Spike smiles.  
  
Tara: You don't have to apologize for that. Actually, I should have thanked you a long time ago.  
  
Spike: (uncomfortable) Well, lets not get carried away, now. Just because I'm human doesn't mean I'm gonna make with the pleasantries anymore than I have to. I may just be a man, but it doesn't mean I have to be a nice one.   
  
Tara: Actually, I think you make a very good man.  
  
Spike is caught completely off guard by this and barely has time to look at her with curiosity before the door gets blown off it's hinges again, this time by Xander. Both Spike and Tara look around to see Xander step into the house with great flourish. Anya and Dawn follow behind looking bored.  
  
Xander: Enter... the dragon.  
  
Spike just stares at him, open-mouthed, for a beat, then:   
  
Spike: You TIT!  
  
Dawn giggles from behind Xander.   
  
Xander: Hey, watch your mouth! There are children here.  
  
Spike: Yeah, and you're one of them. Who do you think you are, kicking in my door like that?  
  
Anya: Your door?  
  
Spike: I-- I meant... Buffy's and Dawn's... I just finished fixing it!   
  
Tara raises her hand sheepishly.  
  
Tara: Had a little accident.  
  
Xander: Hey, no prob. I can fix it this time. I used to do that stuff for a living. Remember?  
  
Dawn: Your asking us if we remember two days ago?  
  
Buffy, Willow and Giles enter.  
  
Buffy: What happened now?  
  
Anya: Xander thought it would be funny to make an entrance.  
  
Long, silent pause.  
  
Giles: (deadpan) Hilarious.  
  
Willow: Guess you had to be there.  
  
Tara: Not really. We were here.  
  
Spike laughs out loud.  
  
Spike: Ha! Nice one.   
  
He puts a hand up for a high five and Tara meekly slaps it.  
  
Xander: All right, look, I said I could fix it.   
  
Buffy: Well, hurry up. Dinner is ready.   
  
Spike: Yeah, and she's not keeping it warm.  
  
Buffy: No one asked for your two cents.  
  
Buffy turns quickly and heads back to the kitchen, but not before flashing Spike a little smile. Spike's newly active heart thumps in his chest. He quickly glances around to make sure no one noticed and is satisfied that no one has.  
  
No one except Tara that is.  
  
DINING ROOM  
  
Everyone is sitting around the table, eating mostly in silence. There is tension in the room but no one is really sure where it's coming from. Buffy and Spike sit across from each other and try very hard to hide the fact that they are no longer in hate mode. Unfortunately, throughout the meal it proves to be very hard for the former vampire and slayer to keep their eyes off of one another.  
  
Anya can no longer stand the silence.  
  
Anya: So I've been watching a lot of this daytime television and I've come to the decision that I'm going to have my own talk show.   
  
Everyone pauses to look at her.  
  
Willow: You're own talk show. That's a lofty aspiration.  
  
Anya: Not really, I mean, I'm over a thousand years old... I know a lot of stuff. I can give great advice. And there won't be any whiny crybabies on my show. I'll tell them like it is. You have a problem? Husband's a slouch? Doesn't appreciate you?  
  
Buffy: You're not going to tell them to disembowel their husbands, are you?  
  
Spike looks up from his plate to smile at Buffy. She pretends not to notice.  
  
Anya: Of course not! For some reason, there's a law against that these days. Don't want any legal troubles on my new show. But I will suggest a some very proven remedies on how to keep a man in line, and they'll appreciate --   
  
Xander: What remedies?   
  
Spike leers at Buffy while using his fork to trace lazy, seductive patterns on his plate.  
  
Anya: Xander, don't interrupt me.  
  
Xander: (sheepish) Sorry.  
  
Buffy, suddenly feeling warm, takes a sip of water and lets a droplet roll down her chin. Spike licks his lips.  
  
Anya: (to the rest) See? I'm a natural.  
  
Willow: (sarcastic) Look out, Oprah.  
  
Buffy wipes the drop with her hand, then circles the rim of her glass with her wet finger, caressing it before letting her hand slip slowly down the sides of the glass. Spike inhales deeply and shudders.  
  
Anya: Oprah! Please. I have so much more experience with vengeance than she does.  
  
Buffy bites back a laugh when she sees Spike's reaction to her little glass trick.   
  
Willow: Are you trying to tell us that Oprah was also a vengeance demon?   
  
Anya: What do you mean was?  
  
Xander looks around to gage the reactions of the scoobies, ready to apologize for his embarrassing girlfriend again. But there are four people at the table who did not hear the entire last half of Anya's rant. Buffy, Spike, Tara and Giles. A disturbed Giles drags his eyes away from the Buffy and Spike show and clears his throat.  
  
Giles: Well, it looks like everyone's about done and I think we should get started on the meeting. Specifically, what I wanted to talk about this evening, is what to expect when the situation in which we find ourselves reverses itself.   
  
Xander: What do you mean, reverses itself?   
  
Giles: Well, the Book of Anoush is rather cryptic, but it does talk of a recanting.  
  
Xander: No! It can't recant!  
  
Xander grabs the crossbow he brought to the table with him and hugs it to himself.  
  
Buffy: Giles, do you really think it's just going to go back on it's own? We talked about reversal spells, you said nothing was strong enough.  
  
Giles: And that is true, Buffy. But this power-reassignment is something that has happened before, here on this very hellmouth, and things obviously returned to normal that last time. Even the universe is not above... falling back on old habits.   
  
He says this last line rather pointedly and Spike shifts in his seat.  
  
***  
  
The rest of the night drags on with little incident. Xander keeps trying to deny the fact that he may have to go back to being an ordinary again, Buffy and Spike continue to flirt silently, dying to get a moment alone, and Giles, knowing this is probably the case, drones on as long as possible until the entire subject is talked into the ground.   
  
Out of desperation, Buffy fakes a yawn.  
  
Buffy: Oh... excuse me. I guess all this scooby meeting stuff is taking it's toll on me. Not used to it now, being a civilian and all.  
  
Xander: Yeah, and you know... it's time to start patrolling. I can't be evil's worst nightmare just sitting her on my duff.   
  
Anya: Well, I'm not going back to that apartment alone. Dawn, are you coming over?   
  
Dawn: Absolutely. (to the rest) We rented the bloodiest movies we could find. I'm gonna try to get through both of them without covering my eyes.  
  
Anya: And I'm going to try to watch them from the victim's point of view. Although, they'll probably be less funny that way.  
  
Giles: I wonder if perhaps you shouldn't both stay here in the house, with Buffy... and... Spike.   
  
Anya: Eew. I'm not sleeping on a pull out sofa!  
  
Giles: Spike can give up Buffy's old room.  
  
Spike: Why should I?  
  
Giles: (angry) Because you will.  
  
Dawn: No, Giles. It's okay. We'll be fine at Xander's. He won't be out all night, he can protect us.  
  
Anya: And I can't sleep if I'm not near all my stuff.  
  
Giles sighs heavily, having lost this battle.  
  
The scooby gang makes a mass exodus, excited to get on with the rest of their evenings. Tara is the last out the door and can barely contain her giggles.  
  
Tara: Good night, you two. Have... uh... have fun.  
  
Buffy furrows her brow good-naturedly.  
  
Buffy: ...okay. Thanks. We're just probably gonna go to bed... I mean... sleep. In our rooms. Roomsss. Yawn. Tired. Bye!  
  
Tara laughs again and gives Spike a knowing glance before turning to leave. Spike is at a complete loss. Buffy closes the door and turns to him.  
  
Buffy: What was that about, I wonder.  
  
Spike: You know what? I think she has a thing for me.  
  
Buffy laughs and rolls her eyes.   
  
Buffy: Oh, you wish.  
  
Spike: I'm serious. She's been giving me these looks all night.  
  
Buffy: What kind of looks?   
  
Spike: You know. ...LOOKS.  
  
Buffy: You're imagining it.   
  
Spike: What, is it so impossible?  
  
Buffy: Well, you're not exactly her type, in case you haven't noticed.   
  
Spike: That's what's so cool about it. I single-handedly changed her mind about the opposite sex.  
  
Buffy studies him like she would an alien fungus.   
  
Buffy: Is there a limit to how much you love yourself?  
  
Spike: Jealous?  
  
Buffy: Of Tara? Please! (pause) Should I be?  
  
Spike: HA! You are!  
  
Buffy: Shut up! I am not. You're an idiot. I'm going to take a bath.  
  
Buffy starts up the stairs.  
  
Spike: Need any company?  
  
This stops Buffy in her tracks. She turns around, slowly, to face him. Her long, smoldering gaze makes Spike uncomfortable. He swallows hard.  
  
Spike: What?  
  
Buffy: I want you to tell me something.  
  
Spike: (voice-cracking) Okay.   
  
He clears his throat.  
  
Spike: (deeper) Okay.  
  
Buffy starts to move slowly and deliberately toward him.  
  
Buffy: We've known each other a pretty long time, haven't we? And over the years, you've said a lot, and I mean a LOT of suggestive, lurid and downright naughty things to me. What I want to know... William... is can you back them up?  
  
Spike is shocked beyond words. He can barely form thoughts in his mind. He watches a small grin spread across her face and can feel the heat rising within him. She is so close. So beautiful. Sooooo damned sexy. He inhales her scent, and on the exhale he whispers:  
  
Spike: I want you.  
  
Buffy tiptoes up and touches her lips to his. Instead of kissing him, she speaks softly against his mouth.   
  
Buffy: Then catch me.  
  
Suddenly, Buffy turns and bolts up the stairs, laughing.  
  
Spike watches, stunned, for a half-moment, then grins broadly. The hunt is on. He lets out a little maniacal giggle of his own and gives chase up the stairs.   
  
End of Part Four 


	5. Shaken Five

Shaken Part 5  
  
After a vigorous chase throughout the upstairs, Buffy manages to lose Spike by ducking into the hall bathroom. She sits on the edge of the tub, panting, and trying not to giggle as she waits for him to find her. Eventually, her giggles fade, and she's still waiting. And waiting. After about five minutes, she gets impatient.   
  
BUFFY  
(to herself)  
Oh, come on.   
  
She gets up to peek into the hallway. No sign of Spike.   
  
BUFFY  
(calling out)  
You're not giving up that easily are you?  
  
No answer. No Spike. The house is deadly quiet. A prickly fear nags at Buffy as she steps into the darkened hallway.   
  
BUFFY  
Spike?  
  
Nothing.  
  
BUFFY  
Spike? What happened? Are you okay?  
  
Still nothing. And she's getting a little worried. She enters Dawn's room and quickly snaps on the light. Nobody there. Next, she steps gingerly into her own room, snaps on the light, walks to the middle of the room and looks around.   
  
BUFFY  
Spike?  
  
Nothing. Now she's getting pretty wigged out. She turns and is about to leave the room when...  
  
WHOOSH!!  
  
...Spike leaps out from behind the door and tackles her on to the bed. Buffy shrieks with laughter, very surprised but relieved to see him. He holds her close, with his arms around her from behind. She puts up a bit of a struggle... but it's clear she's not trying very hard.  
  
SPIKE  
I've got you now, Slayer!  
  
BUFFY  
You cheated!  
  
SPIKE  
Did not. I'm just better at being stealthy than you are. Don't think I couldn't hear you twittering away in that bathroom. Amateur.  
  
BUFFY  
Amateur? I don't think so. You just had to pull a sneak attack because you couldn't catch me.  
  
SPIKE  
Hey. I move like the wind, baby.   
  
BUFFY  
(mocking)  
Like the wind, huh? Well, that's pretty darn fast.  
  
Spike smiles and buries his face into Buffy's hair, speaking in a low growl against the back of her neck.   
  
SPIKE  
Don't believe me? Watch this.  
  
He lets go of Buffy, who immediately tries to get away, but before she can even sit up, Spike flips her on to her back, pins her wrists over her head and straddles her.  
  
SPIKE  
See?  
  
Very aroused butterflies are zipping around in Buffy's stomach, making it impossible for her not to giggle as she pretends to struggle.  
  
BUFFY  
Get off of me!   
  
Spike advances, his face sinking closer and closer to hers. Buffy wriggles beneath him, shooting a current of pleasure through both their bodies. This only causes Buffy to laugh harder, as though she were being tickled.   
  
BUFFY  
(dramatic)  
Unhand me you beast!  
  
Spike pauses. Then with mock politeness:  
  
SPIKE  
Okay.  
  
He moves to get up but Buffy grabs him by the shirt...  
  
BUFFY  
NO!  
  
...and pulls him back down on top of her. They lock eyes. The old Spike smile slides across his face and she responds with an equally mischievous grin.  
  
BUFFY  
I changed my mind.  
  
Spike can't take it anymore. He moans loudly and then crushes her mouth with an explosive kiss. The only thought he can manufacture in his head is, "I'm kissing Buffy." He lets go of her wrists to caress her face, almost needing to reassure himself that she's actually there. Buffy lets her newly liberated hands travel up his strong arms, over his shoulders, and then into his soft and slightly crunchy hair.   
  
Suddenly, Buffy shifts and somehow manages to roll over on top of Spike, taking charge of the kiss. Deepening it. She's been waiting a long time for this. She can admit that to herself now. Four and a half years of repressed lust is being unleashed and this is no time to be timid. Slowly, she moves her hand down the front of his chest and dips the tips of her fingers under his waistband. She hears him groan and smiles against his mouth. Her hand reaches just far enough to catch hold of his tee shirt and pull it up, over his head. They have to break the kiss to remove the shirt, but as soon as it has cleared the kissing zone, they lock lips again, unable to bear the separation.  
  
Buffy is amazed at how controlled and gentle Spike is being with her, only touching her face and stroking her hair as they kiss. It's unexpected and very sweet, but she's about to burst. She wants more. She takes his hand and gently presses it to her breast. He removes it and touches her face again. With some impatience, she takes his hand again and puts it back on her breast. Spike breaks the kiss.  
  
SPIKE  
Buffy.  
  
BUFFY  
(anxious; out of breath)  
What? What's the matter?  
  
SPIKE  
I - I have to... There's something you need to know.  
  
Buffy looks down at him curiously.   
  
~MOMENTS LATER~  
  
Buffy and Spike are now sitting up on the bed, side by side. Spike looks down at his hands, embarrassed. Buffy looks a little stunned.  
  
BUFFY  
Wow.  
  
SPIKE  
Yeah.  
  
BUFFY  
Wow.  
  
SPIKE  
You said that already.  
  
BUFFY  
I know, but... wow!  
  
SPIKE  
Bloody hell! It's not that big of a deal. You act like I told you I was a sodding eunuch!  
  
BUFFY  
I'm sorry.   
  
Buffy puts her hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs it off.  
  
BUFFY  
Hey. I'm sorry, okay? It's just a little hard for me to... comprehend. So... you're sure?  
  
SPIKE  
Of course I'm sure. I was there, wasn't I!  
  
BUFFY  
This isn't a joke.  
  
SPIKE  
If you think this is my idea of a joke then I must not be as funny as I think I am.  
  
BUFFY  
Drucilla was your first?   
  
SPIKE  
After I became a vampire, yeah.  
  
BUFFY  
And you never...  
  
SPIKE  
Not as a human. Or with a human. No.  
  
BUFFY  
But as a vampire you were... like...  
  
SPIKE  
Well, yeah, of course! Dru and I had some really wild times, right? And then Harmony, she was... well we did some pretty crazy stuff too, so it's not like I'm--  
  
BUFFY  
Wait a minute... just Dru and Harmony?  
  
SPIKE  
What's that supposed to mean, "JUST Dru and Harmony?"  
  
BUFFY  
Well, they were your 'steadies' or whatever you want to call it, but you've been with other female vampires, haven't you?  
  
SPIKE  
Do you really think Dru would have let me live if I'd shagged some strumpet while I was still with her?  
  
BUFFY  
But I would think she would encourage that kind of thing. The vampire world being so... erotic and all.  
  
SPIKE  
(rolling eyes)  
Oh God. Deliver me from Anne Rice.  
  
Buffy watches him a moment. Completely nonplused.  
  
BUFFY  
So no one before you met Harmony, either?   
  
SPIKE  
Buffy, I only started dating Harmony because she reminded me of you.  
  
BUFFY  
Okay... not so much a compliment.  
  
SPIKE  
You know what I mean.   
  
BUFFY  
So you're serious.  
  
SPIKE  
I'm serious.  
  
BUFFY  
Why are you telling me this?  
  
Spike gathers his courage.  
  
SPIKE  
Because... I'm bloody human now. And If what I think is going to happen between us is really going to happen, it will be my... first time... as a human. And I'm just worried about doing something stupid. God only knows if I can keep this ridiculous body under control. So, I just wanted you to be aware that, if I do screw up, it's only because I need a little... practice.   
  
Buffy watches his face long enough to make him a little uncomfortable. Finally:   
  
BUFFY  
If this is some scam to get me to fall for you--  
  
Spike starts to protest.  
  
BUFFY  
--it's working.  
  
Spike finally looks into her eyes and is beyond relieved when he sees her smiling sweetly back at him. He allowed his vulnerable side to show and everything turned out all right. There are no more distractions, now. He reaches out, puts his hand behind her head and pulls her mouth to his for another intense kiss. When they break apart, she presses her forehead to Spike's.  
  
BUFFY  
(breathless)  
You sure do kiss well for a virgin.  
  
Spike laughs good-naturedly and Buffy follows suit. They kiss again, mid-laugh, and it turns into something less funny. Buffy puts Spike's hand on her breast again. Spike removes his hand... so that he can slide it up under her blouse and caress her bare skin. With his free hand, he lays her down on the bed and starts to place baby kisses her along her jaw line as he strokes and teases her sensitive flesh. Buffy is flying.  
  
BUFFY  
(gasping)  
Oh, Spike.  
  
MAIN STREET - SAME TIME  
  
WILLOW  
WHAT?!  
  
TARA  
Shhh!  
  
Willow, Tara and Xander are on Patrol in one section of the town. With Xander out of earshot, Tara has just updated Willow on the status of Spike and Buffy.  
  
WILLOW  
(whisper)  
What exactly did you see?  
  
TARA  
Nothing really. Just a couple of looks. But it was so obvious.   
  
WILLOW  
Well, apparently not that obvious, because -- Hey! In the dark!  
  
TARA  
Don't take it personally, Sweetie. They'll probably let us in on it eventually. I think they were kind of enjoying their little secret.  
  
WILLOW  
Why are you so happy about this? Do you think it's a good idea? I mean... they may just be regular humans now, but she's still Buffy and he's still Spike.  
  
TARA  
But, don't you think they're kinda... right for each other?  
  
WILLOW  
Buffy and Spike are right for each other? How can you... well... okay I can maybe see how you might think that, but... actually, I've never really thought about it before... they kinda are, aren't they?   
  
For a moment, Willow is lost in thought, romanticizing, but she quickly shakes it off.  
  
WILLOW  
No... because what if things go back to the way they were before the earthquake? Spike will be a vampire again and Buffy will be a slayer. Two things that are so not right for each other... like... at all.  
  
TARA  
Well, wasn't Angel a vampire?  
  
WILLOW  
Yeah, but... witness the him not being here anymore.  
  
TARA  
I guess you're right. I don't know. There's just something about those two.   
  
XANDER  
(walking up from behind)  
Something about who two?  
  
WILLOW  
Nobody!  
  
TARA  
Just these... two people we know... from school. They're trying to keep their relationship a secret.   
  
XANDER  
Why? What's the big?  
  
Xander is only sort of paying attention. He's busy scanning the perimeter of Main Street, looking for crime to fight.  
  
WILLOW  
Well, they're from different... worlds.  
  
XANDER  
Ha! Different worlds? Anya and I aren't even from the same dimension and look at us. There is just no impediment to true love.  
  
WILLOW  
You really believe that?  
  
XANDER  
Sure I do.  
  
Beat.  
  
WILLOW  
Buffy and Spike are getting it on.  
  
Duty forgotten, Xander stops abruptly and focuses on the girls.  
  
XANDER  
WHAT!?   
  
TARA  
Willow!  
  
WILLOW  
He said 'no impediment.'   
(to Xander)  
You said 'no impediment' didn't you?  
  
XANDER  
I didn't mean them! Not them! They're not from different worlds they're from... opposite sides of... something really huge!  
  
TARA  
You guys! Buffy and Spike are not getting it on! At least... they weren't an hour ago.  
  
XANDER  
Oh my God! What do you know? Do you have information? Is that why the fake yawning? I thought Buffy was just bored with Giles' incessant yammering. Because, hey, weren't we all... but... I'm going to Buffy's.  
  
TARA/WILLOW  
No!/Why?  
  
XANDER  
I'm going to stop her from making a huge mistake!  
  
WILLOW  
XANDER!  
  
XANDER  
What?  
  
CRASH!!! The sound of heavy glass breaking.  
  
They all whip around to see a balding man in his late thirties hop through the store window he just smashed, grab a vacuum cleaner from the display and hop out again with his booty.  
  
WILLOW  
I was just gonna say... maybe we should take care of this looting problem first.  
  
Xander narrows his eyes at Willow, then turns his attention to the looter.  
  
XANDER  
Hey! What are you doing there?  
  
LOOTING GUY  
What do you care, man? Mind your business.  
  
XANDER  
Last time I checked, stealing was still illegal.  
  
LOOTING GUY  
(laughing)  
Who are you, McGruff the Crime Dog? You gonna take a bite out of my ass, now? I just needed a vacuum cleaner.  
  
XANDER  
(advancing on him)  
So buy one.  
  
Looting Guy realizes he's being challenged.  
  
LOOTING GUY  
I don't feel like it.   
  
He takes a few steps toward Xander and throws the vacuum aside... smashing it.  
  
LOOTING GUY  
Forget it. I heard that one sucks anyway.  
  
XANDER  
HEY! You're not allowed to use vacuum related puns! Only the good guys get to use puns.  
  
LOOTING GUY  
Oh, I get it, you're the good guy, right? Well, hate to break it to you pal, but around here... everybody's Superman.  
  
This strikes a nerve with Xander and he attacks. Really attacks, using moves he learned from his day as a soldier that would stop a three-hundred pound demon in it's tracks. Looting Guy holds his own for a while, but ultimately falters under Xander's experience. He's getting the crap kicked out of him.  
  
After a few tense moments, Willow decides to intervene before Xander does something he'll regret.   
  
WILLOW  
Separate!  
  
Xander and Looting Guy fly apart. Xander looks over at Willow angrily, but when their eyes meet he realizes what what he was doing. Dazed, he looks over at the Looting Guy who is holding his side and wiping a bloody lip.  
  
LOOTING GUY  
What the hell's the matter with you, man? It's just a frigging vacuum cleaner. Get a grip.  
  
XANDER  
I - I'm sorry.  
  
LOOTING GUY  
Yeah, you're sorry all right.  
  
Looting guy starts to walk away.  
  
XANDER  
(feebly)  
Stealing is wrong!  
  
Looting guy waves him off as he stumbles out of sight.   
  
LOOTING GUY  
(mumbling)  
Frigging boy scout.  
  
When he's gone, there is awkward silence among the three super-scoobies. Then:  
  
XANDER  
(quietly)  
I don't know how she did it.  
  
TARA  
Who?  
  
XANDER  
Buffy! Every day, she walked around with this power, and she never let it get out of hand. She could literally do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, but she kept it under control. I never thought about how hard it was for her. I guess that's why they don't hand the power out to just any Tom, Dick or Xander that comes down the pike. I mean, from this perspective, even Spike looks like Mr. Restraint. And you know I've lost it when I start saying stuff like that!  
  
Willow smiles and goes over to put a hand on Xander's shoulder.  
  
WILLOW  
Sounds like you're about ready for things to go back to normal, huh?  
  
XANDER  
I hate to say it, but yeah... I definitely think I'm ready.  
  
BUFFY'S BEDROOM - THE NEXT MORNING  
  
Sunlight peeks through the curtains of Buffy's bedroom window and falls softly on the hills and valleys of the rumpled bed. Buffy is curled up, asleep on her side. Spike is facing her, but his eyes are open, he's watching her sleep. After a little while, Buffy stirs slightly and senses him. Slowly, she opens her heavy-lidded eyes, and smiles.   
  
BUFFY  
You're looking at me.  
  
SPIKE  
Yeah.   
  
BUFFY  
Do I have bed head?  
  
Spike reaches out to run a hand through her hair.   
  
SPIKE  
Yeah. You look like hell.  
  
Buffy snorts out a surprised laugh and gives Spike a good hard whack on the chest.  
  
SPIKE  
OW!!  
  
She snuggles back down into her pillow.  
  
BUFFY  
You deserved it.  
  
Spike takes her hand and intertwines it with his own, then kisses the tips of her fingers.  
  
SPIKE  
Actually luv, you've never looked more beautiful.  
  
BUFFY  
Mmmm. That's better.   
  
She scooches closer to him and he envelopes her in his arms, letting her nestle her face against his chest.   
  
SPIKE  
Knew that'd get you.   
  
BUFFY  
Yeah... I mean... hey! I think I have to hit you again.  
  
SPIKE  
Well, go on then, I can take it.  
  
Buffy thinks about it, then closes her eyes and gets more comfortable in Spike's arms.  
  
BUFFY  
This is more fun.   
  
Spike gives her a reassuring squeeze.  
  
SPIKE  
I really have to agree. You're so warm.  
  
BUFFY  
Ninety-eight point six, even.  
  
Spike chuckles softly.  
  
SPIKE  
Guess I'm not used to that. (thoughtful pause) I think I'm still waiting to wake up.  
  
Buffy pulls back to look at him.   
  
BUFFY  
What?  
  
SPIKE  
This is too good to be true. I have to be dreaming.   
  
Buffy looks deeply into his eyes, then presses her mouth to his for a sweet, lingering kiss. When they pull away:  
  
BUFFY  
Morning breath. That real enough for you?  
  
Spike laughs out loud and shakes his head at her.  
  
SPIKE  
You're so odd... I love you.  
  
Buffy stops smiling. Spike picks up on the mood change.   
  
SPIKE  
Sorry. I - I shouldn't have--  
  
BUFFY  
No, it's okay, it's just... been a while since I've heard you say that. Kind of stopped my heart there for a second.  
  
He looks at her, unsure.  
  
BUFFY  
Say it again.  
  
Spike's own heart leaps in his chest. He props himself up on his elbow so that he can look down into her eyes.  
  
SPIKE  
I love you.  
  
He leans down and kisses her forehead, then her eyebrow, then her earlobe, then her chin. Each time telling her:  
  
SPIKE  
I love you.  
  
She allows a shuddering sigh to escape her body, the last of the tension draining away as Spike nibbles at her neck and shoulder and slides a hand under the covers, resting his palm on her bare thigh.  
  
BUFFY  
(dreamily)  
Spike?  
  
SPIKE  
(could this be it?)  
Yeah?  
  
DAWN (O.C.)  
HELLO!  
  
They hear Dawn's voice from downstairs and both sit bolt upright in bed. Frantic, they look at each other, realize they're naked, and cower back down under the covers.  
  
DAWN (O.C.)  
Where is everyone? Buffy? Spike?  
  
Buffy is gesturing wildly for Spike to get out of bed but he draws attention to the fact that he is stark naked by throwing the covers off of himself and quickly covering back up again. Buffy thinks for a minute... then starts pushing Spike over the side of the bed until he falls ungracefully on to the floor.   
  
SPIKE  
(hoarse whisper)  
Bloody Hell!  
  
BUFFY  
Shhh! Shut up! (calling out) In here Dawn! (under her breath) Don't move.  
  
SPIKE  
At least give me a bit of sheet!  
  
Buffy quickly balls up a sheet and slam dunks it over the side of the bed, right onto Spike's stomach. He coughs!  
  
BUFFY  
Will you be quiet!?  
  
SPIKE  
(whimpering)  
My spleen.  
  
BUFFY  
Dammit, Spike, I don't want Dawn to know about this yet. This is not a good example to be setting for a fifteen year old girl. So will you, for God's sake-- Hi Dawn!  
  
DAWN  
Who were you talking to?  
  
BUFFY  
Uhhh... you! I said, "I'm in here... for God's sake."  
  
DAWN  
Where's Spike?  
  
BUFFY  
(too casual)  
I don't know. I thought you weren't coming home till this afternoon?  
  
DAWN  
Anya was driving me nuts. She had me up half the night pretending to be different guests on her talk show. She's kind of unraveling I think. Cabin fever or something. Xander was there this morning, so I took my cue to bail. I think they wanted to have sex.  
  
BUFFY  
DAWN! GOD!! Just because two people are alone in a house together, it doesn't mean they're going to have sex!   
  
From his hiding place, Spike hears this and rolls his eyes. Buffy is really over-doing it and Dawn can sense the weirdness.  
  
DAWN  
Yeah. Okay. Well... I was gonna make those pancakes with the cute shapes again. You hungry?  
  
BUFFY  
Starving! You go ahead and get started, I'll be right down.   
  
DAWN   
Okay.   
  
She turns to walk away then stops, turns back, and addresses the room.   
  
DAWN  
Hey Spike, I know you hate pancakes, so do you want scrambled eggs or that disgusting cereal you always eat?  
  
Buffy is flabbergasted. She has no words. Spike pokes his head out from his hiding place beside the bed, careful to remain mostly concealed.  
  
SPIKE  
Um... eggs would be nice. Thanks, Niblet.  
  
DAWN  
No prob. See you down there.  
  
Dawn smiles at Buffy and skips happily away. A stunned Buffy looks over at Spike who shrugs.   
  
SPIKE  
Observant little tike, isn't she?  
  
END OF PART FIVE 


	6. Shaken Six

INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON  
(SAME DAY)   
  
Buffy and Spike are sitting on the sofa together, watching "Passions." Dawn is sitting at the coffee table, writing in a notebook.   
  
BUFFY:God, this show SUCKS!   
  
SPIKE:Hey!   
  
Dawn looks up from her notebook and watches for a second, then turns to him.   
  
DAWN: Gotta agree, Spike. This show really bites it.   
  
SPIKE:This happens to be one of the best shows on television! It's phenomenally entertaining.   
No response from either sister.   
  
SPIKE:You just have to... I mean you can't take it too seriously... you just have to sort of, go with it. Obviously it's not high drama, but...   
  
He trails off. Buffy fights back a laugh as she watches his hurt statement. She almost feels bad for him. But not that bad.   
  
BUFFY:(mocking) Oh... I'm sorry pookie. I didn't mean to make fun of your stories.   
  
Spike shoots her an angry look, then calms, his frown turning into a grin.   
  
SPIKE: (with eyes on Buffy) Dawn? What's Buffy's favorite TV show?  
  
BUFFY: Dawn, don't--   
  
DAWN: Blind Date.   
  
Spike smirks.   
  
SPIKE: Blind Date.   
  
BUFFY: (playing it off) So?   
  
SPIKE: So... you're really beautiful when you feel stupid.   
  
Buffy half-pouts, a wrinkle appears in her brow but quickly fades.   
She can't help but smile. After all, he called her beautiful.   
  
BUFFY: (grinning) You're stupid.   
  
SPIKE?: Yeah, but you smell.   
  
Buffy giggles. Dawn rolls her eyes and tries to ignore them.   
  
BUFFY: Well, you have ugly feet.   
  
SPIKE: Well, you... dammit you're still beautiful. Stop that, so I can think of bad things to say about you.   
  
Buffy beams at Spike and grabs him by the shirt, pulling him into a kiss. Dawn looks up again.   
  
DAWN: Eeew! Get a room!   
They pull away from each other, still grinning.   
  
SPIKE: Sorry, Niblet.   
  
BUFFY: Sorry.   
  
Dawn watches them for a moment, rolls her eyes, and sighs.   
  
DAWN: All right. I can take a hint. I guess you two deserve a little more time to yourselves.  
  
Dawn stands and gathers her things.   
  
BUFFY: No, Dawn, you don't have to leave.   
  
DAWN:(dramatic) No, no, I'll go. But, before I do, I'd like to point out that, once again, I am the only person in this family behaving like an adult.   
  
She heads over to the stairs. Buffy and Spike watch her go, smiling.   
  
BUFFY: Thank you, Dawn.   
  
DAWN: You're welcome. Have fun...   
  
She turns to go, pauses, and turns back again.  
  
DAWN: ...but if you have sex on that couch I will be traumatized for life.   
  
She bounds up the stairs. Buffy turns back to Spike.   
  
BUFFY: You think she's mad?   
  
SPIKE: Dawn? Of course not. She's been trying to get us together for months now. Plus, she's got all the comforts of home in her room including a TV. She's just trying to make you feel guilty so you'll give in on something she wants later.   
  
Dawn pops her head down from the top of the stairs.   
  
DAWN: I am not!   
  
SPIKE: (laughing) Go to your room, you cheeky brat!   
  
Dawn giggles and then disappears again. Spike smiles after her.   
  
SPIKE: Yup. Heading down the road to delinquency, that one.   
  
BUFFY : Yeah, well she likes you too.   
  
Spike chuckles.   
  
BUFFY: No, really, I mean& a lot. And even though she seems okay with this, I'm worried she might be a little jealous. I think she still has kind of a crush on you.   
  
SPIKE: I know. But, it's nothing serious, really. Lots of girls get crushes on me.   
  
BUFFY: Oh, is that a fact?   
  
SPIKE: Please, you think I don't know when someone's got the shimmies for me?   
  
BUFFY: The WHAT?   
  
SPIKE: You know...   
  
He grasps her hips and twists her back and forth, slowly and seductively.   
  
SPIKE: The shimmies.  
  
Buffy is immediately aroused. Her eyes glass over, her face flushes, her heartbeat quickens, then she realizes.   
  
BUFFY: Hey! My sister does not have the SHIMMIES for you, you perv.   
  
SPIKE: (laughing) Well, maybe not in the strictest sense, but you know who used to?   
  
BUFFY: Giles?  
  
Spike bursts out laughing.   
  
SPIKE: No. Willow.   
  
BUFFY: Oh, again with this. Listen carefully. Willow and Tara? They like chicks.  
  
SPIKE: Hey, I've never been wrong before. I was right about you, wasn't I?   
  
Buffy just smiles back at him.   
  
SPIKE (uneasy) What?   
  
BUFFY: Sometimes I wish I had your confidence.   
  
SPIKE (looking away) Yeah, well... don't tell anyone I told you, but sometimes... not very often... but sometimes, it's possible, that it might be... just an act.   
  
There is a gaping chasm of silence, then:   
  
SPIKE: (forcing a laugh) I've got to stop telling you all my darkest secrets.   
  
Buffy watches as he plays with the trim on the sofa pillow. His head is down, and there is color in his cheeks that she's never noticed before. A powerful current of feeling washes over her.   
  
BUFFY: I'm glad you trust me enough.   
  
Spike shrugs without looking up. He hates feeling this vulnerable. There is a lump in his throat.   
  
BUFFY You wanna hear one of mine?   
  
Spike stops playing with the pillow and looks up. He doesn't look directly into her eyes, but it's clear he's listening.   
  
SPIKE All right.   
  
Buffy takes a deep breath.   
  
BUFFY When I lost my powers, I was really scared. You knew that. I felt useless and all I wanted was for things to go back to the way they were. But, then I slowly realized that without slaying being the center of my universe I actually had time to think about myself. Just me. Buffy: The Regular Person. Do you want to know what I realized about myself?   
  
Spike doesn't respond or look up. His jaw is tensed. Buffy does not wait for him to respond.   
  
BUFFY That I'm happy. Right now, I think I'm probably happier than I've ever been... ever. And... the thing of it is... I'm pretty sure it's because of you. And the fact that... I seem to be... completely in love with you.   
  
Spike is frozen for what seems like a very long time. Then, finally, he lifts his eyes, very slowly, to meet Buffy's. His chest is heaving with emotion. Against his will... a tear spills down his cheek and she brushes it away for him. He squeezes his eyes closed at her touch and inhales deeply.   
  
BUFFY Spike?   
  
SPIKE Could you... I just want to hear it one more time.  
  
BUFFY Open your eyes.   
  
He obeys.   
  
BUFFY Spike, I love you.   
  
Spike exhales forcefully and grabs her into a tight embrace. She sighs against him and cries softly, tears of relief and total happiness. Spike hears her crying and finds it impossible to stop his own tears from falling. They hold each other for a little while, gently rocking. Eventually, they pull away, both sniffing and wiping their faces.   
  
SPIKE (embarrassed) Is this what I have to look forward to as a human? Spontaneous blubbering at happy occasions? Look at us. Don't we make a handsome pair, all snotty and puffy-eyed.   
Buffy laughs and gets herself a tissue.   
  
BUFFY Well, phlegm notwithstanding, we certainly are the most attractive couple I know.   
  
She punctuates this by blowing her nose. Spike smiles at her, surprised but delighted. Buffy discards her tissue.   
  
BUFFY  
See... I'm learning. Confidence good.   
  
He leans in, suddenly, and kisses her softly on the lips. She responds by gently prodding his mouth open to deepen the kiss. Gradually, she begins to lie back on the couch and he follows her down, nibbling a little at her neck and the hollow of her throat.   
  
BUFFY (breathless) What about Dawn? What she said about the couch.   
  
SPIKE (gruffly) I'll go real fast. She doesn't even have to know.   
  
Buffy giggles a little.   
  
BUFFY (sarcastic) Mmmm. How you talk.   
  
The phone rings. It is a jarring sound that startles them both into sitting positions.   
  
SPIKE Bloody hell!   
  
It is picked up on the third ring by Dawn. After a moment, she comes to the top of the stairs.  
  
DAWN You guys decent?   
  
BUFFY Dawn! Of course.   
  
She turns and checks Spike to make sure she's not lying. Dawn descends the stairs and hands the phone to Buffy.   
  
DAWN It's Giles.   
  
Buffy freezes. Dawn just said something to indicate that she and Spike may not have been decent at the time of Giles' phone call. And Giles heard it. He had to have. She shouted it as loud as she possibly could. She takes the phone and puts it to her ear as though it might explode.   
  
BUFFY Giles? Yeah... no, nothing... oh, you know her, she's always saying stuff like that... no, Spike's not even here, he's... in the bathroom... yeah, he's been in there for a while...   
  
Spike grimaces at her and she almost laughs out loud. She whacks him to get him to stop making the face.   
  
BUFFY ...no , I think he's taking a shower. What's up?   
  
MAGIC BOX - THAT EVENING   
Buffy and Spike are sitting at the table with many open books in front of them. Spike has a sour look on his face.   
  
SPIKE Why do we have to do this? We're not exactly the researching type, you know.  
  
GILES Yes, well, I was never able to lift a car before. Things change.   
  
SPIKE You can lift a car?   
  
BUFFY Spike. Focus.   
  
SPIKE I could never lift a car. (to Buffy) Could you lift a car?   
  
GILES Probably not. Which is one of my concerns. For some reason it appears that our power is increasing as time progresses. There is no way of telling what the long-term consequences may be, not to mention the psychological repercussions. Xander is already experiencing difficulties in controlling himself. He expressed his anxieties to me, so I know it is, indeed, serious. This could be very bad.   
  
BUFFY Not much for the silver lining, eh, Giles?   
  
Spike laughs at this and she smiles at him. Giles has turned away from them and is busying himself by putting books back on shelves.   
  
GILES Yes, well, the trouble with that adage is that it implies that there is an upside to every situation. At first I thought I saw the upside to this one, but it's becoming more evident that it's simply another side. Nothing especially good has come out of this at all.   
  
Spike is now poking at Buffy's hand with the eraser of his pencil. She slaps him away. He pokes again, giggling to himself.   
  
BUFFY Well...   
  
GILES Don't you think that--   
  
Giles turns around and Spike yanks his hand away from Buffy's so forcefully that he knocks several books off the table. Giles looks on with some suspicion as Spike picks the books up and sets them back on the table. He notices Giles watching him.   
  
SPIKE Arm fell asleep. Not used to it, with the new humanity and all.   
  
Giles doesn't break his stare. Buffy comes to the rescue.   
  
BUFFY Giles. I forget what I'm looking for.   
  
Giles drags his eyes away from a very guilty looking Spike.   
  
GILES Yes... em... just anything you can find about previous occurrences, particularly how long they lasted. That book you have in front of you isn't likely to turn up anything useful. Try this one. Look under Mystical Power Shifts.   
  
He hands her a book.   
  
SPIKE What about me? I can't find a bloody thing.   
  
Giles looks back at him again with renewed suspicion.   
  
GILES Yes, well, you do seem a little distracted. Perhaps if you actually read what was on the page, you might obtain a little more information.   
  
A bit of a tense moment here. Then the bell chimes and the other scoobies enter the Magic Box in a frantic state.   
  
XANDER  
(freaked) Giles! It's getting worse!   
  
WILLOW I broke my laptop! I just closed it a tiny bit harder than I usually do and it broke like I dropped a bowling ball on it! I don't like this.   
  
TARA I'm a mess wherever I go. I mean, I've always been kinda, you know, clutsy but now... (quietly) ...I think maybe I shouldn't move around so much anymore.   
  
XANDER (outburst) I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!   
  
There is an awkward moment and Xander realizes he's shared too much.   
  
ANYA Worse than that! He won't even TOUCH me! This has got to stop! It's not like there's a purpose anymore. The bad guys have all pretty much caught on that this strong thing happened to everyone... well... almost everyone. But, in case you're all wondering, I'm totally over it not happening to me because it's all hitting the fan now.   
  
Xander notices Spike and Buffy looking at each other during Anya's lament. He can see immediately that there is a new connection between them. He bristles for a moment, for old time's sake, then decides it's not such a big deal.   
  
XANDER Hey, guys.   
  
They instantly look caught, then try to feign casualness.   
  
BUFFY Hey.   
  
SPIKE Harris.   
  
WILLOW (studying them) Is there anything going on with you two?   
  
Xander and Tara both spin to glare at Willow. That was a pointed question, all right. Willow notices their looks and tries to clarify.   
  
WILLOW I mean... do you feel any differently?   
  
More looks. Buffy and Spike are frozen in place.   
  
WILLOW Geuhhh! I MEAN... we're getting stronger and I was just wondering if you guys feel like you might be getting weaker.   
  
BUFFY (so relieved) Oh! Uh... well, not really. Not that I've noticed. Not that I've been doing anything that would require any effort these last couple of days. Spike?   
  
SPIKE No, I'm the same old me. The same old human me. I mean, new old human me. Never mind. I don't feel weaker.   
  
Giles is watching all of this with great interest. Finally, he speaks.   
  
GILES Do you honestly think you're putting something over on me? Do you think I'm blind again, or just intensely stupid?   
  
No one is surprised by this, but Anya, who has no idea what's really going on.  
  
BUFFY (quietly) I didn't think you'd be very happy about it.   
  
GILES Well, I'm not. This is extremely bad judgement on your part, Buffy. Spike may be human now... but you do realize this is a temporary situation.   
  
BUFFY Yes, of course I realize that.   
  
GILES Do you really? Then what did you think would happen when everything changed back to normal?  
  
BUFFY (caught) I don't... know.   
  
Spike is a little surprised by her answer. He looks down and backs away a little.   
  
GILES (to Spike) And what about you? What were you thinking? Did you have a thought in your head about this at all?   
  
WILLOW Giles, God. You're being really mean.   
  
ANYA And I'd appreciate it if you slowed down. I'm lost. What... are Buffy and Spike "doing it" or something?   
  
Everyone looks at Buffy and Spike. Buffy gives a barely noticeable shrug, but everyone gets the message loud and clear. Tara and Willow can not conceal smiles. Xander looks mildly shocked. Giles does not.   
  
ANYA Wow! Buffy! I didn't know you had it in you!  
  
Anya gasps and slaps her hand over her mouth, realizing what she just said. Willow and Tara start to giggle. Xander tries not to, but can't help but chuckle to himself. And finally, after looking hugely flustered and angry for a good three seconds, Giles begins to laugh too. Although, he takes off his glasses and tries to look dignified while he does so.   
  
Spike was poised for a small battle with Giles, so is now very confused by all the laughing. He looks at Buffy.   
  
SPIKE What's the funny?   
  
Buffy gives him the big eyes. After a confused beat, he finally gets it. He looks surprised for a second and then guffaws loudly. Doubling over. This makes everyone laugh harder.   
  
Abruptly, Giles stops laughing to see if the vibrations he's feeling are coming from himself. They are not. He looks up at the others with worry on his face. Xander notices.   
  
XANDER Giles? What is it?   
  
As if in response, a more violent shudder rips through the Magic box. Things start to fall and smash. The gang has trouble keeping their footing as the ground trembles and jerks. Everyone runs to find a safe spot.   
  
Buffy runs to the back of the store and doesn't realize she's standing under the book loft. Spike notices that it looks like it's about to go and runs toward her as fast as he can. He gets to her just as the loft collapses, and pushes her out of the way in time.   
Buffy falls hard, but when she lands, she realizes that the earthquake is over. Everyone slowly gets up to assess the damage. They're all a little shaken up (a pun!) but basically okay.   
  
BUFFY Where's Spike?   
  
They look around the shop to find Spike lying on the floor unconscious and half-pinned by the loft ladder.  
  
BUFFY Oh God.   
  
Buffy runs to Spike, already panicking. He does not appear to be moving or breathing. Buffy takes all of this in but doesn't know what to do first.   
  
BUFFY (tear-choked voice) Giles! Help me! He's not breathing. Oh God, please, no. Oh please no.   
  
Giles walks over and kneels to check Spike's pulse. His face is grim when he looks up at Buffy. Buffy can't accept what she sees in Giles eyes.   
  
BUFFY Help me get this ladder off.   
  
GILES Buffy, he's-   
  
BUFFY CPR! We can do CPR! XANDER!!   
  
Xander runs over. He looks a little panicked himself. Buffy is so upset it is difficult for her to speak.   
  
BUFFY Xander please... you know how to do it. I don't think I... please try. Please?   
  
Xander nods nervously at Buffy. He kneels beside Spike, leans over and moves Spike's head so it is upturned toward him.   
  
SPIKE (pained voice) If you're gonna kiss me, Harris, could you at least get this sodding ladder off my bollocks first?   
  
BUFFY Spike! Oh my God!   
  
Everyone is more relieved than they thought they'd be. Buffy and Xander go to move the ladder and clearly Buffy is doing all the actual lifting.   
  
Tara looks at Willow. They silently realize everything has gone back to normal.   
  
Buffy is so happy that Spike is alive, the change doesn't even register with her yet. She runs to Spike and hugs him fiercely. Then showers his face with happy kisses.   
  
BUFFY Oh thank God! Spike! I was so scared. I love you so much.   
  
She throws her arms around him and squeezes him tight. Over her shoulder, Spike can see the shocked faces of all the scoobies upon hearing her admission of love. Buffy is too relieved to even notice.   
  
BUFFY Please don't ever die again.   
  
SPIKE (meeting Giles' eyes) Uh... I think I can probably keep that promise now, love.   
  
Buffy pulls away and cocks her head at Spike, not understanding. She looks around at her friends and then at Giles. Slowly, she comes to the realization that she and Spike have now resumed their roles of vampire and slayer.   
  
She reaches up and places her hand over Spike's heart. It's not beating anymore. They look sadly into each other's eyes.   
Giles looks on, hating the fact that he's usually right.   
  
BUFFY (quietly) But... you're okay. So that's all that matters.  
  
Spike takes her hand and looks deeply into her eyes.   
  
SPIKE And I still love you. Very much.   
  
Buffy tenses a bit, now fully aware of being watched. Spike tenses with her. Suddenly, her expression changes completely.   
  
BUFFY Dawn! She's at home! She could be hurt.   
  
She starts to get up.   
  
BUFFY We have to go. Are you okay to stand?   
  
Spike looks at her; it's clear that she's doing the avoidy thing.   
  
SPIKE Yeah, I think I'm okay.   
  
He gets up, slowly and creakily.   
  
WILLOW I'm sure she's okay, Buffy. We can call--   
  
BUFFY The lines might be down. Try it, but I'm heading over there. Spike, are you coming with me?   
  
SPIKE Of course.   
  
He catches Giles eye and quickly looks away, not wanting to see what's there.   
  
Spike and Buffy exit, and the rest of the gang is left to deal with the aftershock.   
  
BUFFY'S HOUSE   
Buffy enters and immediately yells for Dawn. Dawn appears at the top of the stairs in her pajamas, eating a tub of ice cream.   
  
DAWN What?   
  
BUFFY Are you okay?   
  
DAWN I'm fine. What's going on?   
  
Dawn comes down stairs to meet them.   
  
BUFFY You didn't feel the earthquake?   
  
DAWN Well... yeah.   
  
BUFFY I was just worried.   
  
DAWN No, I'm good. Some stuff fell, but I cleaned it up. What's the big, Buffy? We live in California. Earthquakes a-plenty. It's not like... oh... did it happen?   
  
No one has to say anything. Dawn looks down at her ice cream and then continues, forcing cheerfulness.   
  
DAWN Well, you guys look okay to me. It doesn't mean anything has to change, right? Except, no more tanning by the pool for Spike&... (uncomfortable silence) ...good thing we don't have a pool.   
  
Buffy doesn't respond, so Spike forces a soft smile and pushes a strand of hair away from Dawn's face.   
  
SPIKE You're right, Niblet, nothing has to change. Everything's all right& you can go on back to your late night rubbish fest with no worries, okay?   
  
Spike's tenderness with Dawn completely melts Buffy's heart.   
  
BUFFY (trembling voice) Goodnight, Dawn.   
  
DAWN Night.   
  
She watches Dawn go back upstairs. When she's gone, Buffy turns and throws her arms around Spike. He is a little surprised at first, but then sighs heavily and holds her tightly to him.   
  
BUFFY (eyes closed) I don't care about anything else... I love you.   
Spike pulls away and takes her face in his hands. She opens her eyes to look at him.   
  
SPIKE Are you sure?   
  
Buffy nods a little and Spike kisses her, gently at first, as though it is their first kiss. She responds by deepening the kiss and starts to pull off Spike's jacket.   
  
Things get pretty hot between them, but when Spike starts kissing and nibbling at Buffy's neck, she involuntarily tenses. Spike senses it and pulls away. They look at each other; this was inevitable. Buffy's face is sad and apologetic. Spike looks down, struggling to keep the emotion out of his voice.   
  
SPIKE This isn't going to work is it?   
  
Buffy has no response.   
  
SPIKE I can't go back to the way it was. I... I can't.   
  
BUFFY (barely audible) I know.   
  
SPIKE But if you were going to be with a vampire, you would be with Angel.   
  
BUFFY I never said that.   
  
SPIKE You don't have to.   
  
Spike chokes back the large knot in his throat. His eyes are wet and he is shaking.   
  
SPIKE Goodbye, Buffy.   
  
LATER THAT SAME NIGHT   
Dawn comes downstairs with her empty ice cream container and finds Buffy sitting on the floor, sobbing.   
  
DAWN Buffy? What's going on, what happened?   
  
BUFFY He's gone.   
  
A very sad Dawn puts her arms around her sister and the two girls cry together.   
  
End of Part Six 


	7. Shaken Seven

LOS ANGELES   
  
Spike wanders down the street half-drunk and full of pent-up anger. He stops, trying to focus on a slip of paper that he's holding. He looks up at the building he's stopped in front of, back to the paper, and then to the building again. Snarling, he stumbles up the stairs and practically falls through the door.   
  
Fred is sitting by herself in the office when she hears Spike burst in. She jumps up, and scampers out to meet him.   
  
Fred: He-hello there... and welcome to Angel investigations. Can I...  
  
Spike looks up at Fred, anger in his eyes.   
  
Fred: (quietly) ...uh, is there something I can help you with?   
  
Spike watches her for a moment, focuses, senses she's frightened, and softens.   
  
Spike: You work here?   
  
Fred: Yes. Did you... uh... do you require our services? You look like you mightÉ need help. Or maybe... someone you know needs the help?   
  
Spike: Hhha! Help, from Angel. That's a laugh, isn't it?   
  
Fred: You know Angel?   
  
Spike: We're old friends.   
  
Fred: (relieved, smiling) Ohhh! Okay. So that's neat. I never met any of Angel's old friends, 'cept for Cordelia and Wesley, of course. I guess you could call me one of Angel's new friends. Well, I like to think so, anyway. My name's Fred.   
  
She puts out her hand for a hearty shake. Spike can't help but be charmed. He shakes her hand and gives her the famous grin.   
  
Spike: Truly a pleasure to meet you. Fred. I'm Spike.   
  
Fred can't help but swoon. She giggles a little.   
  
Fred: Spike, that's a funny name. Although I guess not much funnier than Fred. But Fred's short for Winnefred. Is Spike short for anything? Prob'ly not. Can't think of any name Spike would be short for, unless it's like one of those exotic names from some far off place or somethin', I noticed you have an English accentÉ are you English?   
  
Spike is dizzy.   
  
Spike: ...yeah. (looks past Fred) SoÉ where is the oldÉ emÉ bossman?   
  
Fred: Downstairs, training with Cordelia. Do you know Cordelia?   
  
Spike: Yeah, we go way back. Training for what?   
  
Fred: Oh, you knowÉ the fighting stuff. Cordelia is really getting good at it. I'm sure I'll never get the hang of it. Not that anyone's really offered to teach me or anything. I mean, personally, I think I could be something more than just brain girl around here if someone would give me half a chance and stop treating me like I might break any minute. Are you a vampire?   
  
Spike is startled at the abruptness.   
  
Spike: (pause) I forget now. Yes. No. Yes. Yes, I am.   
  
  
Fred: I can tell. You're probably a good vampire like him, right?   
  
Spike laughs bitterly.   
  
Spike: Not quite, love.   
  
Westley: Fred, come away from there, please.   
  
Fred turns to see Westley holding a crucifix and looking extremely worried. She looks back to Spike who is grinning.   
  
Spike: Look, your boyfriend's heard of me.   
  
Fred: Oh, he's not my--   
  
Westley: Yes, I have. Fred, please just move away, quickly.   
  
Fred obeys and Westley creeps toward Spike, holding the cross out at arms length.   
  
Spike: Just relax, mate. I've got no intention of hurting her. I'm on your side now.   
  
Westley: Right. And I'm Father Christmas, pleased to meet you.   
Spike rolls his eyes.   
  
Spike: Look, does Angel still live here or what? Because I'm beginning to think he's become the great tragic myth he's always postured himself to be. Oh, he's not dead is he? Because that would be... you know... pretty bloody hilarious.   
  
Suddenly Spike is thrown into the wall forcefully.   
  
Spike: Hey! That's... OW! (he gets a look at his attacker) Cordelia?   
  
Cordelia: What the hell are you doing back here, Spike? Did you really think you could set foot in this place without getting your limey ass staked?   
  
Spike breaks into a huge smile.   
  
Spike: Well, look at you all kung fu! That's brilliant. You're even pulling off the tough guy talk. Good on ya, Cordy!   
  
Cordelia can't help but be a little proud.   
  
Cordelia: Well, thanks. Angel's been teaching me.   
  
Spike: So I've heard. Pretty resourceful of the old grand sire, I thinkÉ can't deal with the real Slayer so he fashions one out of what he's got lying around.   
  
After the intial shock, Cordelia punches him very very hard.   
  
Spike: OW!   
  
Angel: Nice hit, Cordy.   
  
They turn around to see Angel standing at the opposite end of the room.   
  
Spike: And there he is. You just can't resist making a bloody   
entrance, can you? You great tosser!   
  
Cordelia grunts at him and pushes him hard against the wall again.   
  
Angel: Cordy, let him go, I got this one.   
  
Cordelia: I can handle himÉ he's drunk.   
  
Angel: No, really, let him go. This'll be fun for me.   
  
Spike: (jazzed) That's the spirit, Peaches.   
  
Spike stalks toward Angel and readies himself for the fight.   
  
Angel: When are you gonna grow up, Spike?   
  
Spike: Disappointed, are you? Need to give me a good thrashing?   
Well let's have it then! Skip all this bloody catching up.   
  
Angel: If you're here for the Gem of Amarra, you just wasted an awful lot of your own time. I destroyed that thing a long time ago.   
  
Spike: I figured you would, you bleedin' martyr. Heaven forbid you actually have an easy time of it, 'cause then you wouldn't be able to repent for all your crimes against humanity every single day of your pathetic existenceÉ God, I really just hate you.   
  
Angel rushes Spike and throws him into the wall again. He gets in his face.   
  
Angel: Likewise. You're a real piece of work, man. Are you really this stupid or do you just have a death wish now, because-   
  
Angel stops. Inhales. Looks into Spike's eyes. Spike realizesÉ and smirks.   
  
Spike: Awww. You still remember her scent, then? How bleeding tragic.   
  
Angel: (grave) What the hell did you do?  
  
Spike: The question isn't what did I do, the question is what did WE do. And the answer isÉ everything.   
  
Full of fury, Angel punches Spike hard across the face. Spike returns the punch and the fight of the century begins. Most of the Angel Investigations team retreats while Cordy hovers around the two enraged vampires, waiting for the right moment to jump in.   
  
Angel: Cordy, get away, this isn't your fight.   
  
Wesley and Fred are watching from behind a wall.   
  
Fred: What's going on?   
  
Wesley: I'm not sure. I think it's fair to say that Angel is angry with Spike. Or Spike is angry with Angel.   
  
Cordy joins them.   
  
Cordy: Nice grasp of the situation, Wes. I think I know what's going on. Angel smell's Buffy's scent on Spike, and can tell they had sex or something. Let's all take a minute to appreciate how gross that is on every level.   
  
Angel throws Spike into the foyer table and it smashes to the floor underneath him. Before Spike has a chance to get up, Angel grabs him and hauls him up by his jacket.   
  
Angel: If you forced her, I'll-   
  
Spike: Oh PLEASE! Do you even know the girl? Do you really think I could ever get her to do anything she didn't want to do?   
  
Angel: Then what happened?   
  
Spike: You want details? Angel, I never figured you for the type. Should I use all the bad words?   
  
Angel knees him very hard, in the nuts. Spike howls in pain.   
  
Spike: You bloody wanker!   
  
He doubles over, coughing. Angel grins down at him. He's about to get in his own snide comment when Spike pops up again and head butts him, sending him reeling backwards across the room.   
  
Cordy: I don't see what he's so angry about. I thought he was over Buffy. God, how far away does she have to be to not irritate me?   
The vampires crash into the office. Cordy, Fred and Wesley quietly file out as quickly as possible. Fred pauses to gather up some fine breakables, then hurries out.   
  
Angel throws a chair at Spike, who ducks at just the right time and dives at Angel's feet, pulling them out from under him. Angel falls back, slamming his head into the desk. Spike leaps on top of Angel, yanking him up further on the desk and punching the crap out of him. Angel growls and hurls himself at Spike, pushing him back out the door and into the lobby. Spike trips over some debris and lands in Fred's lap.   
  
Fred: Oh, for pete's sake!   
  
Spike: Sorry, luv.   
  
Westley: (primly) Perhaps it'd be safer to wait this out on the second floor.   
  
They exit, as the battle rages on.   
  
A short while later, Gunn enters the main lobby and has to immediately jump out of the way in order to avoid Angel and Spike, who are now doing what can only be described as wrestling.   
  
Gunn: What the hell?  
  
Spike slams the back of Angel's head into the floor.   
  
Angel: OW! Stop doing THAT!   
  
Gunn is ready for business. He grabs Spike by the shoulders, yanks him up and punches him in the face. Spike seems insulted.   
  
Spike: Hey! What did I do to you?   
  
Gunn is confused. He looks down at Angel.   
  
Angel: He's an old friend. Just go find the others, they'll fill you in.   
  
Gunn: You sure?   
  
Spike: You heard him. Mind your business, chum.   
  
Gunn: (in Spike's face) Did I look like I was talkin' to you, CHUM?   
  
Angel: Gunn, really. I got this one.   
  
Gunn: All right. Call if you need back up.   
  
Spike scoffs and mumbles "back up."   
  
Gunn walks away slowly, keeping his eyes on Spike.   
  
Spike: Can I help you?   
  
Gunn clicks his tongue and laughs.   
  
Gunn: You better watch your mouth, Q-tip.   
  
Spike: Or what? You'll blind me with your gleaming head? (then, under his breath) Pillock.   
  
Gunn advances on Spike.   
  
Gunn: What the hell did you just call me?   
  
Spike puffs up, ready for him.   
  
Angel: HEY!   
  
They both look at Angel.   
  
Angel: Still kinda want to fight over here!   
  
Spike punches Angel in the face hard enough to knock him down again. He turns back to Gunn.   
  
Spike: I called you a pillock. It means--   
  
Gunn: I know what it means. And I'm gettin' ready to jack your British ass!   
  
Spike: (channeling Big Bad) WellÉ I'm standing right here.   
  
Gunn is suddenly a bit apprehensive. Angel tackles Spike.   
  
Spike: Oh, get off!   
  
Gunn: (relieved; covering) Yeah, wellÉ Angel, let me know if you need me to jump in and beat his skinny ass down.   
  
Spike gets punched in the face by Angel, but pays no attention, he looks past him, to Gunn.   
  
Spike: Not on your best day, mighty man!   
  
Angel: (irritated at the distraction) Gunn, get out of here!   
  
Gunn: Damn, all right. Make a brother feel unwanted.  
  
He gives Spike another look as he exits.   
  
Angel punches Spike in the face to bring him back to the fight. He hits him again and again, without much pause between blows. Finally, Spike resumes his hatred of Angel and attacks.   
  
Cut to: a half-hour later, the two vampires are lying half way up the main staircase, out of breath, bloodied, disheveled and exhausted. They lay side by side, facing the ceiling. They have beaten the hatred out of each other and are now very calm. When they speak, it is he intimate conversation of two old friends.   
  
Angel waits for Spike to get through a coughing fit, and turns to him.   
  
Angel: Are you gonna tell me what happened or not?   
  
Spike looks at him.   
  
Spike: You really want to know this?   
  
Angel: (after a long pause) No. I really don't.   
  
Spike nods and they both turn their eyes back to the ceiling. A few minutes pass in silence, then:   
  
Angel: Tell me.   
  
SUNNYDALE - BUFFY'S HOUSE - NIGHT  
  
Several Months Later   
  
The gang is hanging out in the living room watching a Moulin Rouge on DVD. The girls are swooning over Ewan McGregor and Xander is bored to death.   
  
Xander: Where's the mayhem? Where's the bloodshed? Where in the name of all that is holy are the big-budget explosions?!   
  
He is answered with nothing but romantic warbling from the television speakers.   
  
Xander: This sucks! I need a man!   
  
The girls turn to him with questioning looks. Xander is immediately self-conscious.   
  
Xander: I mean a guy to hang out with. Not for... (he gestures toward the screen) ...musical watching man-love. I almost wishÉ I can't believe these words are coming out of my head, but I think I actually miss Spike.   
  
Buffy winces.  
  
Willow: (gesturing toward Buffy) Xander!   
  
Xander: Oh, I'm sorry, Buff. I wasn't thinking.   
  
Buffy: (softly) No, it's okay. I'm totally fine. Completely over the bleached crusader. Miss him all you want, it's a free living room.   
  
There is an uncomfortable pause while Nicole Kidman croons onscreen. The other girls can plainly see that Buffy is anything but fine. Xander is less observant.   
  
Xander: I wonder what he's doing now. You think maybe he went back to England or something? Maybe he's hanging with Giles! I bet their not sitting in watching lame singing movies. They're out on the streets of London, getting into bar brawls and reveling in their manliness.   
  
Dawn: (rolling her eyes) He's not in England, Xander.   
  
Immediately after she finishes the sentence, Dawn tenses and avoids Buffy's eyes.  
  
Buffy: Dawn? You know where Spike is?   
  
Dawn fiddles with her hands.   
  
Dawn: We've... been in touch.   
  
Buffy: He's called here?   
  
Dawn: No, we... chat online.  
  
Buffy: Online? Like... over the internet?   
  
Dawn: Yeah.   
  
Buffy: (stunned) How often?   
  
Dawn: I don't know... every... night.   
  
Buffy: Oh my God!   
  
Willow: I know! I had no idea! Spike's a nerd!   
  
Buffy: (impatient) Really not the issue, Will.   
  
Willow: Right.   
  
Tara: Well, what is the issue, exactly?   
  
Buffy: The issue isÉ (searching for a plausible issue) that... he's supposed to be staying out of my life. It's just what's best for both of us. For ALL of us. This isn't out of my life. This is in my lifeÉ in a sneaky, using my little sister type way.   
  
Dawn: (hurt) He's not using me! First of allÉ we barely even talk about you anymore, so you can get over yourself any time now. Secondly, just because he has to stay out of your life doesn't mean he has to stay out of mine.   
  
Buffy: Yes, actually, it does!   
  
Dawn: Why? He's all the way up in L.A. and it's not like he can hurt me over the computer even if he wanted to, which he doesn't, so I don't see the harm. Besides, he's not your stalker anymore, remember? He's the one who left!   
  
Buffy's face reveals that she remembers very well.   
  
Xander: (trying to break the tension) So, he's in L.A.?   
  
Dawn: (keeping her eyes on Buffy) Yeah. He's working with Angel.   
  
Buffy's eyes nearly bulge out of her skull.   
  
Dawn: That's right. Soul-less, chipless and fancy free but he decides to get a job helping the helpless. Kind of puts a hole in your big theory, doesn't it?   
  
LATER THAT NIGHT  
  
Buggerit: Hey bite size, how's it hangin'? You're on awfully late tonight.   
  
OrNotToKey: What do you think you're doing?   
  
Buggerit: About what, love?   
  
OrNotToKey: It's Buffy. Why are you filling my sister's head with all this nonsense about you fighting the good fight with Angel in L.A.?  
  
Buggerit: Hello, Buffy.   
  
OrNotToKey: Are you going to answer me?   
  
Buggerit: Why is it nonsense? Because I'm with Angel or because I'm fighting the good fight?   
  
OrNotToKey: BOTH! Where are you really?   
  
Buggerit: Unbelievable.   
  
Bugger This: I don't need this from you. Look, give him a call if you don't believe me. I'm sure he'd just love to hear from you. Tell Dawn the Dawson's Creek wildfeed is up on the message boards.   
  
Goodbye, Buffy.   
  
OrNotToKey: WAIT!   
  
OrNotToKey: Spike?   
  
OrNotToKey: Hello?   
  
Buggerit: What?   
  
OrNotToKey: What's a wildfeed?   
  
Buggerit: She'll know.   
  
OrNotToKey: Are you really with Angel?   
  
Buggerit: Yes.   
  
OrNotToKey: How did that happen?   
  
Buggerit: I ask myself that question everyday, love.   
  
OrNotToKey: Does he know?   
  
Buggerit: Know what?   
  
OrNotToKey: Don't be a jerk, Spike. Does he know or not?   
  
Buggerit: You're a lot less menacing on the AOL Instant Messenger system. You realize that, right?   
  
OrNotToKey: TELL ME OR I WILL DRIVE UP THERE TONIGHT AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH!   
  
Buggerit: Okay! Okay! I'll tell you. (Even though I know you can't drive, Miss Idle Threat.) Yes, he knows. I didn't intend to tell him. He just sort of, figured it out. Kind of a long story, there. I came up here to kill him, actually. Or have him kill me. It's funny how things don't turn out the way you plan them.   
  
OrNotToKey: What did he say?   
  
Buggerit: Not much, actually.   
  
OrNotToKey: Oh.   
  
Buggerit: Mostly, he just punched me.   
  
OrNotToKey: Really? He was really mad?  
  
Buggerit: I just made your day, didn't I?   
  
OrNotToKey: Don't pout, it's unbecoming. Did he hurt you bad?   
  
Buggerit: I needed some time to heal before starting my first day on the job, but he needed to take a personal day, himself.   
  
OrNotToKey: This is crazy! You actually work for him?   
  
Buggerit: WITH him. I work WITH him.   
  
OrNotToKey: Uh huh. And you guys are whatÉ pals now? Or is this some sick, show-offy thing where you're both trying to out-  
superman each other on a nightly basis?   
  
Buggerit: As if that's a bad thing. Oh, hang on! I almost forgot. Did you know Angel had a kid?   
  
OrNotToKey: Yes, the last time I talked to him he told me. I'm still in shock.   
  
Buggerit: You should see him with the thing. It's quite surreal.   
OrNotToKey: You call his baby "the thing?"   
  
Buggerit: It's nicer than what I call Angel.   
  
OrNotToKey: You just made me laugh out loud.   
  
Buggerit: You're supposed to write LOL.   
  
OrNotToKey: Okay, nerd. LOL. Oh, and nice screen name, by the way.  
  
Buggerit: Yeah, well, I had a great lot of very clever ones to do with my name, but they kept coming up already taken. Seems to be a lot of Spike's in this world. Makes a bloke feel downright ordinary. I got fed up and typed in my favorite phrase and, what do you know, it turned out to be available. I couldn't resist.   
  
OrNotToKey: Suits you.   
  
Buggerit: It does, doesn't it?   
  
OrNotToKey: You'll take anything as a compliment, won't you?  
  
Buggerit: Part of my charm.   
  
Buggerit: Where'd you go? Are you trying to tell me I'm not charming?   
  
Buggerit: Buffy?   
  
OrNotToKey: I miss you.   
  
ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS - OFFICE - NIGHT   
  
Sitting at a laptop computer, Spike reads what Buffy wrote and knocks over his mug of blood.   
  
Spike: Bloody hell! GAH!   
  
The viscous liquid rolls into the crevices of the keyboard. Small sparks shoot out from different locations.   
  
Spike: Oh no! Don't do this to me!   
  
BUFFY'S ROOM - NIGHT   
  
Using Dawn's computer, Buffy waits for Spike's response.   
  
OrNotToKey: Spike?   
  
OrNotToKey: Are you still there?   
  
She sighs.   
  
Buffy: (to herself) Okay. Guess I deserve it.   
  
She leans in to type.   
  
OrNotToKey: Bye, Spike. I'm sorry.   
  
She waits a few more minutes. Just in case. Nothing.   
Sadly, she turns off the computer.   
  
ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS - OFFICE - NIGHT   
The computer screen is black and the machine itself is making an ominous whirring noise. Spike holds it upside-down and shakes it hard, trying to get blood to drain out.   
  
Spike: Oh, this is just BLOODY BRILLIANT! (a beat, then calling out) FRED!?  
  
End of Part Seven 


	8. Shaken Eight

Angel Investigations - Day  
  
A FEW MORE MONTHS HAVE PASSED.  
  
Team Angel is sitting around the hotel lobby and office, looking kind of bored. Gunn and Spike are cleaning weapons, Wesley is reorganizing his files, Fred is working on a brand-spanking-new laptop and Cordelia and Angel are fussing over Connor.  
  
Angel: Stop it, he doesn't like that.  
  
Cordelia: Of course he does. Look, he's smiling.   
  
She leans in very close to Connor, makes a bizarre face and speaks in a high-pitched voice.  
  
Cordelia: Is Cordy making a silly face? Is this a silly face? Yeah, you're smiling aren't you, Connor?  
  
Angel: That's a grimace. You're freaking him out.  
  
Cordelia straightens and frowns up at Angel.   
  
Cordelia: So, basically, you're saying that my face strikes fear into the hearts of children?   
  
Angel: (trying not to smile) Not just children.  
  
Cordelia gasps, then laughs and swats at him playfully.   
  
Cordelia: Jackass.  
  
Angel grins cockily but when Cordelia turns away his face reveals that he is quite the smitten kitten.  
  
The room is quiet for a little while, then...  
  
Spike: Here's the thing. If someone says they miss you...  
  
Groans from everyone in the room. Spike ignores this.   
  
Spike: ...they're not necessarily saying they want you around or that they might still have feelings for you. It could just be something like, "Hey, I miss the way things used to be. Bloody shame everything turned out so crap." You know? I mean if she really wanted to say something, she could   
have--  
  
Gunn: Damn, man! You have really got to get over this! Why don't you just call the girl already? Maybe she'll say, "How are you?" and give you a whole new sentence to obsess over.   
  
Spike: (indignant) I'm not giving her the satisfaction! She knows the number here! If she really missed me she would have picked up the phone months ago when I didn't respond on computer.  
  
Fred: Or... she's waiting for you to make the first move. She thinks you ignored her, Spike, of course she's not gonna call. But that doesn't mean she doesn't--  
  
Spike: Don't start, you! I've had enough of your romantic notions. All this nonsense about champions being drawn to each other...  
  
Cordelia and Angel steal a look toward one another. Two sets of deep brown eyes meet and then immediately look away.   
  
Spike: I'm nobody's bloody champion, and the person who knows that best of all is Buffy Summers.  
  
Spike becomes particularly focused on the knife he's polishing, rubbing at the same smudge with a scowl on his face. Gunn and Fred exchange concerned looks as Spike falls silent and glowery again.  
  
Cordelia: (whispering to Angel) God, I really had no idea he was this insecure.   
  
Angel: Spike? Oh yeah. Big time. Not on the battlefield, of course. There, he's the most sure-footed son-of-a-bitch you'll ever hope to have on your side. But Spike in love equals total pansy. Look at him. Poor sap looks like he's about to cry. It's pretty funny, actually.   
  
Cordelia frowns at Angel, then looks back at sad sack Spike and rolls her eyes.  
  
Cordelia: (muttering) Well, I've had just about all I can take of this. (then, louder, to Spike) Hey, you know what'd be a real shocker? If you actually had the guts to go back and talk to Buffy in person.   
  
Spike: (not looking up) She doesn't want me to come back. She doesn't want me in her life.  
  
Cordelia: Okay. Say that's true. Don't give her what she wants, give her what she needs. She's used to guys getting all wigged out and leaving. Imagine her surprise if one of them actually came back.   
  
She glances at a mildly stricken Angel.  
  
Cordelia: (to Angel) No offense.  
  
Angel: (amused) Really?  
  
Cordelia: Well, maybe just a smidge.  
  
They share a look. Then Cordelia turns back to Spike and finds him staring at her intensely.  
  
Cordelia: What? I'm just being honest.  
  
Spike drags his eyes away from Cordy to look at Angel. Angel looks away, showing signs of... guilt? After some internal deliberation, blue fire ignites behind Spike's eyes.   
  
Spike: I'm no better than you, am I?  
  
Spike stands. Angel's eyes are still downcast.  
  
Spike: (epiphany time) Bugger all! I'm no better than Captain sodding Cardboard!   
  
He looks around at the faces of those he has come to trust over the past several months. His other family.  
  
Spike: I just left. I didn't even try! What the hell was I bloody thinking?  
  
Suddenly, he sets his sights on Cordelia, standing across the room, and stalks toward her. For a moment Cordelia shrinks, perhaps anticipating a blow. Instead, Spike grabs her and hugs her. A little shocked, Cordy puts her arms around him slowly. Over Spike's shoulder she apologizes to Angel with a look. Angel gives a small shrug.   
  
Spike pulls away to look at Cordelia.  
  
Spike: (gruff, emotion heavy voice) You might have brought this up sooner, love.  
  
Cordelia: You're supposed to figure it out for yourself!   
  
For emphasis on "yourself", she flicks Spike's forehead with her thumb and forefinger.  
  
Spike: Ow!  
  
Cordelia: Don't you know that all every girl wants is a guy who can read her mind? That's not too much to ask, is it? (off Spike's confusion) Don't worry. I won't tell Buffy you needed a little push.  
  
Spike nods. He's in a bit of a daze. He rubs his stinging forehead, feeling excited for the first time in a very long time. He glances up at Angel finds him staring back at him with an unreadable expression.   
  
Spike: Listen--  
  
Angel: (cutting him off) You don't deserve her.  
  
Spike: I know. (a beat) I have to go back.  
  
Angel: I know.  
  
THE NEXT DAY  
  
Team Angel is gathered to see Spike off. Spike hugs Fred and when they pull away she looks very sad.  
  
Spike: I'm sorry I annihilated your lap top.  
  
Fred: (waving it off) Spike, stop saying you're sorry! I told you not to worry about it. Just gave me an excuse to get the pretty new white one.   
  
Spike smiles at the sweet girl. He's grown very fond of her during his stay there.  
  
Spike: Gonna miss you most, you know that right?  
  
Fred: (shy) I know it.   
  
Gunn twitches at this exchange. He comes over and slips a territorial arm around Fred.  
  
Gunn: Real shame you have to go, man. (he extends a hand to be shook) Bye.  
  
Spike smiles. Gunn's jealousy and competitiveness amuses him so.  
  
Spike: Oh, come on. (re: hand) Put that thing away. I thought we were friends. (a beat) Give us a kiss.  
  
Gunn: (laughing) I'll give you something to kiss. You better get on outta here!  
  
Gunn makes like he's going to literally kick Spike in the ass. Spike laughs and holds up his hands.   
  
Spike: Fine. Fine. You're gonna miss me when I'm gone, though.   
  
Gunn: (serious) I know.  
  
Okay, things are getting too sappy. Spike turns away, clearing his throat.  
  
Westley stands before him, looking bored. Westley is the only one who never really warmed up to Spike.  
  
Spike: Don't suppose you're going to miss me.  
  
Westley: Not really, no. Safe trip.  
  
Westley quickly turns and walks away.  
  
Spike: Right. Thanks.  
  
And there's Cordelia.   
  
Cordelia: You know he's going off to listen to sad music and cry over you.  
  
Spike: I suspect as much.  
  
Cordelia: Well...  
  
Spike: Well...  
  
Cordelia starts to get a little misty and begins adjusting Spike's shirt and coat for him.   
  
Cordelia: Remember to play nice with the other kids, especially Xander. I know it's hard but I also know that deep down you two are destined for buddy-film greatness.   
  
Spike: (smirking) Deep down.  
  
Cordelia: Yes, very deep. Just take it easy on him. You know how fragile he is. And it's okay to be honest most of the time, but try not to say absolutely everything you're thinking. Sometimes people don't like that. It takes a little getting used to, but I think I'm finally getting the hang of it. Call me if you need any pointers. Or... just call for whatever, okay? We'll be here. We have no social lives.  
  
Spike smiles.  
  
Spike: (softly) You grew up real nice, Cordy.  
  
Cordy stops fussing over him and looks into his eyes.  
  
Cordy: So did you.  
  
They hug tightly. Spike has to clear his throat again.   
  
Angel is standing by the door with his hands shoved into his pockets. Spike walks up to him, slowly.  
  
Angel: I'm not hugging you.  
  
Spike: Thank Christ for that.  
  
Angel: It's been... fun having you around again.   
  
Spike: (quietly) Well, much as I hate to admit it, the fun doesn't have to end just 'cause I'm going.  
  
Spike subtly flicks his eyes toward Cordelia. It takes Angel a minute to catch up, but when he does he decides it's time to check the shine on his boots. Spike picks up on Angel's discomfort and quickly changes the subject.  
  
Spike: So, it's funny how being a white hat is almost as much fun as being a black hat, isn't it.  
  
Angel looks up at Spike with a glint in his eye and grins.  
  
Angel: Yeah. Almost.  
  
Spike smiles.  
  
Spike: See you around, Peaches.  
  
He heads toward the door and opens it. Before he can leave...  
  
Angel: Spike?  
  
Spike turns around.   
  
Angel: Take care of her.  
  
Spike's eyes go a little bright.   
  
Spike: (gruff voice) If she lets me.  
  
He turns away quickly and leaves, leaving Team Angel with a Spike sized hole in it.  
  
Sunnydale  
  
Buffy is working behind the counter in the magic shop.   
Spike enters. Buffy freezes where she is. She doesn't speak.  
  
Spike: They told me you were here.   
  
Buffy: Who? Who told you?  
  
Spike: Willow and Tara.  
  
Buffy seems angry.   
  
Spike: They said not to be mad and to hear me out. Because I'm a terrific fellow and I speak from the heart.   
  
Buffy raises an eyebrow.  
  
Spike: Okay, I embellished. Look I--  
  
Spike takes a step forward and Buffy quickly backs up behind the cash register as though she's afraid of him. It affects Spike like a slap in the face. He fills his lungs with air and continues, determined to speak his peace.  
  
Spike: I was an idiot.  
  
Buffy: I was gonna say.   
  
Spike: Believe me, no one is more disgusted at my behavior than I am. I should have trusted my instincts but I thought I was doing what you wanted. Turns out I'm as bad as the other two gits who I normally enjoy the pleasure of being superior to.   
  
Buffy is listening.  
  
Spike: The absolute last thing you needed to see was the backside of another stupid sod walking away because he thinks he's got just bloody cause.   
  
Spike shakes his head, angry with himself. After a pause, he calms down and speaks slowly.  
  
Spike: There's not really anything I can say to make it right. But I am so very, very sorry.   
  
Buffy is now trying very hard not to cry.  
  
Spike: (softly) I don't know if you can forgive me. I don't know if you even want me around. But I know you love me. I know it. I always have, I just... Being human spoiled me. I knew I'd eventually have to change back, but I kept kicking the thought aside. I didn't want reality to stomp in and spoil everything. So, I wasn't prepared for when it did. (looks down) I didn't think we could ever be happy again. Maybe I was right. (looks into her eyes) But here's what it is: I love you. And I'm staying.  
  
Buffy is now trying very hard to catch her breath.   
  
Spike: You can say what you like, but I belong here... or wherever else it is that you happen to be. And short of you shoving a stake through my far too vulnerable heart, you are stuck with me. Now, I'll respect any decision you make. I'll be a friend to you, a working partner, I'll even keep fifteen yards between us at all times if that's what strikes your fancy. But, I am not going anywhere.  
  
Buffy opens her mouth to speak but stops abruptly. Her eyes widen. She grips the edge of the counter and proceeds to scream bloody murder.  
  
Spike: (nervous) Or... maybe I'll keep myself on Angel's payroll a while longer and just pop in on you from time to time. See how that sits with you.  
  
Buffy moans softly, becoming increasingly agitated.   
  
Spike: Buffy, calm down! I--  
  
She starts to move toward a phone.   
  
Buffy: (muttering) I have to call Xander.  
  
Spike is just about to ask why when Buffy moves away from the counter. The words die in his throat and the dumbstruck look on his face rivals the one he wore when he first saw her coming down the stairs toward him, back from the grave.  
  
Spike: You're--   
  
Buffy screams again and doubles over. When it passes...  
  
Buffy: (labored breathing) Knocked up. Yeah, thanks for noticing. Could you please get me the phone?  
  
Spike: What? Oh!   
  
He leaps over the counter and hands her the phone, never taking his eyes off of her.  
  
She takes the phone and tries to dial but she's in too much pain. He takes it from her.   
  
Spike: You want to call Xander?  
  
Buffy: Yes... he's... I don't know if he's home... this wasn't supposed to happen for another three weeks. He was gonna take me to the hospital.  
  
Spike: Is he the...  
  
He can't say it. Buffy looks up into his eyes.   
  
Buffy: No, Spike, XANDER is not the father.  
  
It takes a couple of minutes to register. When it does, every bone in Spike's body disintegrates. The phone falls out of his hand and he slouches against the wall, staring at Buffy's protruding stomach.   
  
Buffy: Hey! Spike? Hello! Snap out of it, would you! I know it's a lot to deal with all at once, but I'm kind of in labor here! Oh GOD!  
  
She cries out again and Spike stands up immediately. His only thought: Buffy hurting. Help Buffy.  
  
Spike: (dazed) I... I have my car. I can take you.  
  
Buffy hesitates for the briefest moment.   
  
Buffy: Let's go.   
  
HOSPITAL  
  
Sitting up in bed in the delivery room, Buffy is disheveled, sweaty and in a great deal of pain. Standing next to her and blathering on is the now coherent Spike who is clearly annoying her.  
  
Spike: And if I hadn't come back tonight, just when exactly were you going to tell me you were having my child!   
  
Buffy: Spike--  
  
Spike: No, Buffy, really. No matter what you think of me, it's just wrong to shut a person out like that. You could have picked up a bloody phone--  
  
Buffy's arm shoots up and she grabs Spike by the throat.  
  
Buffy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS? I am in blinding pain here and now that you've finally come out of your coma all you can do is stand there and lecture me?! I will snap your neck like a twig you insufferable pain in the ass!!  
  
The nurse looks at Spike with a plastered on smile.   
  
Nurse: Don't worry, it's just hormones. She doesn't mean it.   
  
Buffy realizes what she's doing and pulls her hand back, embarrassed that the nurse witnessed her outburst. Spike adjusts himself and checks his neck for damage.  
  
Spike:(to the nurse) Don't kid yourself, pet. She means it.   
  
Buffy shoots Spike an angry look but it fades when she sees him smiling back at her.   
  
Spike: Good to know you haven't changed.   
  
She smiles weakly.   
  
Buffy: What can I say. You bring out the best in me.  
  
Another contraction hits and Spike grabs her hand.  
  
Spike: Okay, okay. Em... just try and breathe... do the breathing thing.  
  
Buffy: I never... went to... Lamaze class.   
  
Spike: Why the hell not? Those selfish twits couldn't find the time to take you to one class?  
  
The contraction subsides.  
  
Buffy: Everyone was a little busy saving the world while I was on maternity leave. We could have used a little help from the absentee father!  
  
Spike: (angry) Well if someone would have bothered to keep me in the loop, maybe I would have--  
  
Buffy yells again and Spike is immediately repentant.  
  
Spike: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a wanker.  
  
Buffy: (in pain) Yes, you are! You are a WANKER!  
  
Spike: Yes, I am. Okay, calm down. Just go like this. Hoo-hoo-hoo...  
  
Buffy starts to breath the way Spike is showing her.  
  
Buffy: Hoo-hoo- where did you - hoo - learn this?  
  
Spike: On telly. On my soaps, someone's having a baby every other bloody day. This is the way they breathe. Hoo-hoo-hoo...  
  
Buffy laughs, and then squeals in pain again.  
  
Spike: No laughing. Breathe. Hoo-hoo-hoo...  
  
Buffy obeys. After a little while, the doctor enters.   
  
Doctor: So... how's mommy?  
  
Spike: Mommy needs drugs. What've you got?  
  
The doctor laughs as if Spike made a joke. Spike is pretty confused as to why his question was not answered.  
  
Doctor: Let's just have a peek then.   
  
The doctor looks under the sheet for a moment and Buffy screeches louder than she has yet.  
  
Spike: What the hell are you doing down there? Whatever it is, knock it off! Can you see she's in terrible pain? What kind of a doctor are you?   
  
Doctor: I assure you, sir, I'm not doing anything. The pain she's feeling is perfectly normal and to be expected.   
  
Spike: Yeah, well, if this keeps up the pain you feel should be perfectly expected as well.  
  
The doctor looks frightened.  
  
Buffy: Spike. Spike, I'm okay. Don't threaten the doctor.   
  
Spike looks at Buffy and all the anger drains out of his face.  
  
Spike: Sorry. I'm not very good at this am I?  
  
Buffy smiles softly and runs her hand through his hair.   
  
Buffy: Actually, you're doing pretty great. I'm glad you're here.   
  
Spike: Really?  
  
Buffy responds by gripping a huge chunk of his hair and pulling hard as she screams through another contraction.   
  
Spike: Ow. Ow. OW! You're not breathing! Buffy? That's attached, love! Remember breathing? Hoo-hoo-hoo...  
  
  
TWO HOURS LATER   
  
The Scooby Gang sits in the waiting room. Willow wrings her hands and repeatedly checks the clock while Tara sits calmly beside her. Xander paces back and forth. Dawn alternates between babbling excitedly about being an aunt and looking bored. Anya is literally sitting on the edge of her seat when she sees Spike walking toward them. He looks a little worse for wear and his hair is sticking up violently. Everyone watches him closely, waiting.   
  
Anya: He looks so pale.   
  
She gets looks.  
  
Anya: I mean, more so than usual.   
  
Spike stands before them and speaks hoarsely.   
  
Spike: It's a... baby.  
  
Everyone waits.   
  
Anya: Yes, but what kind?  
  
Spike: A... a girl. A little girl.  
  
LATER THAT NIGHT  
  
The last of the Scooby visitors have filed out of the room, leaving Buffy and Spike alone with their new baby.   
  
Buffy: So, no one seemed surprised to see you here tonight.  
  
Spike: I noticed that. It's the baby. Babies are very distracting.   
  
He says this without taking his eyes off of the little bundle in Buffy's arms. He watches the infant's every movement.   
  
Buffy: I guess I was the only one who thought you were gone for good this time.   
  
Spike looks down, guilty.  
  
Spike: I know. And I am sorry. I just thought--  
  
Buffy: No you didn't.   
  
She sounds more hurt than angry.  
  
Buffy: You didn't think at all. You never do because you are a child and now you have a child. I can't deal with two children at the same time, Spike, so you'd better have grown up a little while you were away!  
  
Spike looks at her curiously.  
  
Spike: Does that mean you want me to stay?  
  
Buffy: Of course I want you to stay you stupid jerk. But it's not just about us now. (she looks at the baby in her arms) If you leave again...  
  
Spike: (looking into her eyes) I'm not leaving again.  
  
Buffy studies his face.   
  
Buffy: I believe you. It's a good thing you suck at lying.   
  
Spike shrugs, shyly. After a moment, a serious expression crosses his face.   
  
Spike: Speaking of sucking, love... I am still a vampire. I don't expect the others to ever fully trust me. But I'd like to know if you think you ever will.  
  
Buffy: Well... I've had a lot of time to think while you were a way. (smiling) A lot of time.   
  
She laughs as Spike shifts uncomfortably at that little dig.  
  
Buffy: And I don't know from souls but what I do know is that you have something inside of you that is very special. There are humans running around right now... lots of 'em... who can't feel as deeply as you do. They don't even have a fraction of your kindness, your passion, your sense of honor. And they don't need to work nearly as hard to have those things as you do.  
  
Spike swallows hard, emotions getting the best of him.   
  
Buffy: You're strong enough to keep that demon inside you from taking those things away. Angel wasn't that strong. And he could never have loved me the way you do. He couldn't even love himself. It's a hard thing to admit even now and maybe that's why it took me so long to see the good in you. I didn't want to believe that Angel...  
  
She trails off.  
  
Spike: (quietly) Buffy, you should know that Angel did love you.  
  
Buffy: Not enough.   
  
Spike is startled by her matter-of-fact tone.  
  
Buffy: If he did he would have come back and found a way to make it work instead of giving up so easily. But it's okay. We're better, happier people when we're apart. I realize that now. I don't know, maybe it's new mom wisdom or something. Everything just seems more clear. Especially when I look at you.   
  
Spike's breath catches.  
  
Buffy: I love you, Spike. I love the way you love me. And I know you'll be good to us.   
  
They're both getting pretty choked up and Spike can't seem to speak at all. He has no idea how to respond to such praise. Buffy understands this and changes the subject.  
  
Buffy: So... I was convinced she was going to be a boy, so I didn't pick any good girl names. Do you have any favorites?  
  
Spike: (very shy and tentative) Um... my mum's name was Olivia.   
  
Buffy: Olivia!   
  
She looks down at the baby.   
  
Buffy: God, that's beautiful. Do you want to be named Olivia? Look, I think she likes it too. Miss Olivia...  
  
She looks expectantly at Spike.   
  
Spike: (confused) My mum didn't have a middle name. Maybe you can--  
  
Buffy: No, she needs a last name. Olivia Summers is nice, but... (nervous) ...she's got a daddy.  
  
Spike looks at her, and then the baby. Awestruck.  
  
Spike: You want her to have my name?   
  
Buffy: Well, I don't want her to be called Olivia the Bloody, but I know you had a decent last name at some point. To tell the truth I'm kinda dying to know what it is.   
  
Spike reaches out slowly and lets Olivia wrap her tiny hand around one of his fingers.   
  
Spike: (whisper) Fairchild.   
  
Buffy has never known Spike to have such an economy with words. She's quite moved by it.   
  
Buffy: Olivia Fairchild. That's perfect. Do you want to hold her?   
  
He does, but he's scared.   
  
Spike: I... I don't--  
  
Buffy: It's easy. Here. Put your arms like this.  
  
He studys her and then copies what she's doing. She gently lays the baby into his arms. He holds Olivia stiffly for a minute, worried about hurting her, but instincts soon take over and he snuggles the baby close to him. Buffy's eyes well up with tears as she takes in the beautiful tableau before her.   
  
Buffy: There, see. You're doing a great job. You'll be a good dad, I think.  
  
Spike looks down at his daughter who is cooing appreciatively up at him. He can no longer hold back the tears.   
  
Spike: I will. I promise.   
  
He looks up at Buffy and sees she is crying too. He leans over slowly and carefully to place a sweet kiss on her mouth. When he pulls away, Buffy kisses the top of Olivia's head and smiles at him. They are now a family.  
  
****  
  
In the maternity ward, Spike watches all the newborn babies from behind a glass window. Buffy has fallen asleep and now he's waiting for the nurse to bring Olivia out to be admired by the rest of the visitors on the floor. Spike's mood suddenly darkens as Xander walks up to him.  
  
Xander: So, you're back.  
  
Spike: Look, I don't want to fight with you.  
  
Xander: Who's fighting?   
  
Spike: I know you don't think I should be here. But I'm not leaving again. Buffy wants me to stay, so you'll just have to get used to having me around.   
  
Xander: Spike--  
  
Spike: Here--  
  
Spike digs into his coat pocket and produces a zip lock baggie with a strangely beaded necklace in it.   
  
Xander takes it, nonplussed.  
  
Spike: It's made of garlic. They sell them at Venice Beach up in L.A. They're not in quite as much denial as the good people of Sunnydale. You can wear it whenever I'm around if it makes you feel better.  
  
Xander: (shocked) You had this in your pocket the whole time?  
  
Spike: Well, it's sealed. See? Yellow and blue make green.   
  
Xander just stares at the necklace. He has so much to say, but he just can't bring himself to do say it. Instead, he nods a thank you and tucks the baggie in his pocket.   
  
Spike nods in return and they both turn to watch the newborn babies again. After a few moments, Spike speaks conversationally.  
  
Spike: Cordelia says hi.  
  
Xander: Yeah? She miss me?   
  
Spike: I wouldn't go that far.   
  
Xander chuckles.  
  
Xander: And how's your grand pappy?  
  
Spike: Irritating as ever. But that's family for you.  
  
Xander: Yeah. (long pause) So, speaking of that... uh... Anya and I are gonna take another stab at this wedding thing.  
  
Spike: Oh right, I heard about the first fiasco. Interesting choice of words, though. Will there be stabbing?  
  
Xander: We're hoping to avoid that by not inviting family this time. Just close friends. Willow is performing the ceremony. She was ordained on line.  
  
Spike nods, impressed.  
  
Xander: Giles is coming back from England to give the bride away.   
  
Spike: Does he know about...  
  
Xander: Yeah.  
  
Spike: (nervous) Good. At least I don't have to worry about the old codger dropping dead of a coronary when he sees William the Bloody's newborn human child nestled in Buffy's maternal arms...  
  
Spike trails off. Saying it out loud in this cavalier way has finally made it real for him. It hits him like a ton of bricks. Xander doesn't notice and when he speaks again, Spike is startled.   
  
Xander: He's not happy, I won't lie. But I think you'll be surprised at how much he doesn't kill you. Especially after he sees her.   
  
They both both watch quietly as Olivia is brought in by a young nurse and placed in a little plastic bed.   
  
Spike: (lost in thought) Yeah. (then, remembering) I'll believe it when I see it.   
  
Xander seems very uncomfortable. He keeps sneaking side glances at Spike, trying to avoid meeting his eyes.   
  
Xander: So... So I need a guy is my point.  
  
Spike is confused. He blinks a few times and tilts his head questioningly at Xander.  
  
Xander: (voice cracking) A guy! For the wedding. Buffy, Tara and Dawn are still bridesmaids and I need a guy to stand next to me and sign the thing and hold the rings - and not steal them. Basically you're my only option, so do you want to do it or not?  
  
Spike: Well. That was... from the heart.  
  
Xander: Look, man, I'm trying to reach out here. With Buffy and the new baby and everything, you're kind of like... I don't know. You're here so you might as well be a part of stuff.  
  
Spike is completely stunned. He squints at Xander, trying to figure out whether or not it's a joke.  
  
Xander: Is that a no?  
  
Spike: No. I mean, yeah. I'll do it. (not a trace of sarcasm) That might be... nice.   
  
Xander: Well here's hopin'. Can't be any worse than last time, anyway. (long pause) Thanks.  
  
Spike doesn't know the appropriate response. He feels like thanking Xander but that might seem weird.  
  
Spike: Uh... yeah. Okay.  
  
REALLY uncomfortable silence. They watch the baby again and for the first time, Xander notices Olivia's name card. He reads it, his mouth drops open and he looks at Spike.  
  
Xander: FAIRCHILD?  
  
Spike: (Oh, crap!) One word. One word and I swear...  
  
Xander: (hands up) Hey, I'm sayin' nothin'! (Xander hides a smile) I should get going anyway. I got the job in the morning, can't stand around all night staring at your kid. (a pause; he has to do it) Fairchild, could you bring the car 'round?  
  
Xander cracks himself up. Spike tries not to smile.  
  
Spike: Funny.  
  
Xander: I'll take my tea in the drawing room, please.  
  
Spike: (not looking at him) You can leave now.  
  
Xander: Yes, of course. Tally Ho, Fairchild. Until next we meet, somewhere betwixt dusk and dawn, I do beseech you--  
  
Spike: It's gonna get old.   
  
Xander: Oh, I don't think so.  
  
Xander turns to leave. Stops. Pauses for a minute, then turns around.  
  
Xander: Welcome Home, Spike.  
  
Spike turns slowly to look at Xander. Okay, Buffy being sprogged up was a shock, becoming a father was still sinking in. But Xander being nice to him? Off Spike's bewilderment, Xander smiles then turns and walks away.   
  
THE END 


End file.
